Affirmations: Friend or Foe

If you’re like me, you’ve read almost every book on neuroscience, ancient scriptures, and mysticism. My eyes have bled from all the words that I’ve read, and my ears have become cauliflower ears from all the audiobooks I have listened to (ok…I have embellished on the eyes and ears, but still). 

Everything I’ve read and heard suggests that affirmations are twofold. First, your current affirmations, without saying them, are your current beliefs on which you act. For instance, if you have a fear of speaking out, more than likely you don’t raise your hand at work to share your ideas or would rather listen to others than participate. Then, the new affirmations that you introduce yourself are how you would like to perceive yourself in the future. In this instance, you see yourself confidently sharing your ideas and knowledge, maybe even receiving accolades because you’ve shared how you can save your company 10%. This is your identity shift, where neural pathways get rewired/reprogrammed, or, as Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” 

What’s the issue? 

Great question! I didn’t even realize there might be an issue with affirmations until I went deeper down the rabbit hole on that subject. There are “others” who state that when one vocalizes “I am wealthy and abundant,” yet the bank account reflects $10, one is reiterating that they lack wealth and abundance. How? Well, in simple terms, would a millionaire walk around constantly affirming they are wealthy and abundant? No, because they are already in that state of being. Some would argue that affirming causes more lack, because you’re staring at your bank account, and now you are feeding yourself a lie. In other words, affirmations can highlight the gap, not close it.

One of the biggest critiques of the book The Power of Positive Thinking was that repetition (affirmations) can function like self-hypnosis…defeating… the sense of reality. If you think about it, then yes, I can see how this can, by some, be implemented by overriding their sense of reality vs becoming the state of being. It comes down to denial vs alignment. Even Carl Jung indirectly touched on this in Aion: Research into the Phenomenology of the Self, by saying, “The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside, as fate.” 

What now? Should I stop affirming?

I’m writing this so you don’t go into the rabbit hole like I did and spend too much time on it. Here’s what matters. Affirmations just by themselves, without intention and bypassing the inner work that comes out of it, don’t change anything. Essentially, it is like memorizing a song and just blurting out the words to the song without having the emotions attached to the song. This way is brute willpower. That’s what we DON’T want (or maybe you do? After all, it’s free will).

Thankfully, science is catching up and now proving how important affirmations are, as long as you work on them at both the conscious and subconscious levels. Not like our friend above, who is brutally forcing the mentality in some narcissistic way. 

I won’t nerd out on you and explain how affirmations affect the brain, but to summarize it, it affects the neuroplasticity and the Medial prefrontal cortex, as laid out in Self-Affirmation Activates Brain Systems Associated with Self-Related Processing and Reward. And it is the MOST EFFECTIVE when you use affirmations that reflect your core values, which means that you may need to restructure the wording that resonates with you the most.

Rewording affirmations that fit your needs and are gentle

Quick note: don’t make affirmations that are not realistic. For example, you love playing basketball, and now, at 32 years old, you’re affirming that you are the world’s best basketball player and have won the NBA, when you haven’t played since Junior High. Your brain is the ultimate lying-detecting machine. All the sirens will sound, and the letters BS will stand out in flashing red LED lights. More importantly, it won’t feel right in your body. 

If the affirmations are bold and feel way out of your comfort zone, start out small and then keep tweaking the wording until the boldness is now part of the norm. Affirmations should feel as comfortable and easy flowing as a nice conversation with a good friend, over a nice cup of coffee or hot chocolate.

Examples:

Secret Sauce Time!

1. Write out just a few affirmations that feel comfortable for you. Start with 3-5 – anymore, and you may get overwhelmed.
2. Make them believable and achievable, with the openness that the universe has amazing ways of making them into reality for you, because you deserve all the miracles in life. 
3. Always use the present tense. You want this NOW, so make it NOW.
4. Consistency. You are undoing years of old programming. Keep going.
5. Write, sing, say….all the time.
6. Take action when opportunities arise! This is where they come to fruition.

The Bottom Line

It’s not the words alone; it is the intention and the willingness to change your thoughts, be in full awareness, and take the appropriate action to eliminate those old beliefs/patterns. They work because:

• Repeatedly activate specific neural circuits (creation of new neural pathways)
• Override old subconscious patterns (nervous system regulation)
• Install a new identity through thought + emotion + behavior (aka quantum leaps)
• Emotion accelerates wiring (bring it home!)
• TAKE ACTION – I cannot stress this enough. Do it even if it’s scary. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. No matter what, you will be OK. 

Inspirational Quotes

We become what we think about – Earl Nightingale.

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become – James Clear.

Repetition is the mother of skill – Tony Robbins.

Affirmations are like planting seeds in the ground. It takes time to grow – Louise Hay.

You are what you think most of the time – Napoleon Hill.

TAKE ACTION: Neyda Honda helps you move beyond affirmations into real inner change—where thoughts, emotions, and actions align. If you’re ready to embody what you’ve been affirming, connect with Neyda to learn more.