Are You Living a Fake Life? So, Should You Fake It ‘Til You Make it?

Decades ago, if anyone had told me I was living a lie, I would never have believed them. Moi? I was a spiritually seeking, eco-conscious, art major, anti-war activist and IMHO, a really nice person. I prided myself on my honesty, integrity and persistent dedication to anything I embarked on. 

Now, looking back, I was a certified, genuine, deepfake, poser. I was masquerading a Big Lie.

My fakeness went beyond being nice, polite and socially appropriate. It was much deeper than that. In fact, it was ingrained on a subconscious level that I had not been introduced to.

I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. All. The. Time. With everyone. Especially myself.

Discovering my bogusness was the outcome of doing the inner work I was developing in my Perfect Life Awakening program. The more I dug in, the more it became painfully (and I do mean painfully) obvious that my entire life was run by fear. I was a walking, talking reactivity robot, needing to be right all the time, hoping that someone would rescue me in constant need of acknowledgement.

Starving for attention, everything I did was an attempt to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. I was ruled by how I appeared to the external world, trying to prove I was smart, capable, and look at me, I’m not at all terrified.

That fake persona coerced me to make choices based on ego rather than wisdom, neediness rather than trust, fear rather than love. My life resulted in a ceaseless struggle for results that refused to happen. I was frustrated and hopeless most of the time, but a smile never left my exhausted face.

All these going-through-the-motions happened without my conscious volition. I was clueless that I was not at all the person I was feigning. And my “co-stars” didn’t seem to know (or care) as they dutifully played their role.

The Unfolding

It took a while (okay, years) to break through the layers of fakeness I had perfected. It required heavy excavation work to finally discover and accept the Real Me. Since those layers were solidified like fired clay, and I didn’t own a sledgehammer, it was the hardest thing I had ever done.

This inner journey was spurred by grasping the acute distinction between my primitive, fear-based consciousness and my higher, spiritual consciousness. Knowing that clue enabled me to readily discern what it felt like to be triggered, AKA pulled into fear.

When I realized what I had been doing, who I was being, my fear-based need to prove myself began to dissolve. I started operating from a place of authentic spirituality. I became compassionate, heart-centered and always chose from love. Practicing the inner work I prescribe in my clients, I became adept at getting to the roots of why I was triggerable.

Everything Shifted

Since I had never felt true inner peace, it was shocking to experience what calm felt like. Feeling joy without the need for anything external (i.e. chemicals, shopping sprees, Netflix, etc.) was astounding as well.

Simultaneously, I became skilled at not only hearing my intuitive knowingness but believing it. Those strong pulls and inner directives I had previously poo-pooed became my trustworthy guidance. They never led me astray. And, if it appeared I had landed on a dead end, there was always a Bigger Reason that would unfold. Eventually.

And things started working in my life, oftentimes miraculously.

Keys Were Found

Four decades ago, when I began teaching small groups some of what my own journey had taught, remarkable, unexpected information arrived. Answers to questions I had struggled with my entire life showed up. A powerful, empowering way to access and neutralize subconscious programming was spontaneously gifted to me. 

This journey was spurred by being willing to see how paralyzed I was in my fear-driven narratives. They had convinced me to mistake fear for authenticity. I even labeled it so as to never forget, calling it my Joe Spiritual Act.

As I ventured to even deeper places within, I saw that everything that pushed my buttons was showing me a mirror of something I was in denial about myself. Those reflections, although hard to admit, were exposing something I had suppressed in myself, trying to act the opposite to cover up.

Like when I proudly pretended that I cared about the world by attending anti-war demonstrations — a handy way to cover up my inner “War Mentality.”

My Rude Awakening

This could-a-had-a-V8 moment presented yet another challenge: Admitting the reflections I was seeing. My well-polished acts had them hidden under an even more solidified layer of clay.

However, I chose to stick with it as I dug deeper. I figured, if nothing else, seeing my mirrors provided a tool to stop, feel and look within rather than be reactive.

It might seem contradictory, but seeing those accurate reflections enabled me to transcend the limitations and doubts that my fear-based consciousness was shoving down. They pointed me in the necessary direction to disclose the lengths my subconscious programming went to disguise itself.

I felt like the Wizard of Oz being exposed as fake.

Mirrors Never Lie

Before I understood that I was living in a ‘house of mirrors,’ all I saw was drama rather than wake-up calls. All I felt was poor me rather than responsibility. All I experienced was lack rather than opportunities.

By admitting the accuracy being reflected, and digging to discover why, I could start being strong, caring and deserving for real, rather than faking it. I became patient and trusting, filled with grace and gratitude for what life presented rather than keeping my head tucked firmly in the sand of denial.

Living from an authentic higher consciousness place, I was able to let go of needy expectations on others, society and the world. By not having to prove who I was, I opened myself to who the Universe insisted I really was and why I’m here. 

A treasure trove of genuine love and compassion spurred sincere actions. I became resilient to life’s ebbs and flows, maintaining serenity even in the face of adversity. Since my choices were made from soulful, intuitive wisdom, they always led to growth, even if they were challenging. I navigated life’s toughest moments from a place of acceptance rather than resistance.

The hardest part was accepting that I chose everything in my life to be a mirror to help me evolve; that everything that happened was designed to wake me up, remember what I was here to clean up and to do so.

In other words, taking full responsibility for my life.

I’ll be the first to admit that confronting those insistent mirrors required a big shovel and some Extra Strength Windex. There are decades and lifetimes of debris in the way. But knowing that the Universe frowns on faking it, it does get easier.  

And How

When you are triggered, look at it as an opportunity to face something you’re in denial of. As you dig through those layers of programmed beliefs, you will discover an authentic, unshakeable spirit waiting within, applauding wildly.

Those button pushers become your best teachers, helping you get to sincere compassion, connection and gratitude.

Watch as your life unfolds in ways you never imagined possible. They may even lead you toward your True Purpose.

The time is now to be inspired to help transform this world into a place of Real Love. We all chose to be on this transformative journey together. In the grand tapestry of life, every thread interconnects; every thread counts.

Be an authentic thread.

TAKE ACTION: If you feel ready to explore who you are and what you are here to do, reach out to Royce at royce@roycemorales.com or visit her website at www.roycemorales.com.