Beyond Numbing: How Self-Love Heals the Wounds We Hide – An Interview with Amie Rich

Is it possible to be wildly successful without self-sabotaging along the way?

Amie Rich thinks it is. After nearly 30 years of climbing the corporate ladder at a major motion picture studio, leading large teams, and getting promoted again and again using some of the same survival traits she learned as a latchkey kid, Amie hit a moment that shaped the rest of her life. She had built a career on perfectionism, people-pleasing, and being everything to everyone. And she realized it had cost her something the promotions could never pay back.

Throughout this conversation, Amie shares the message she now brings to every corporate room and every high performer who comes to her stuck on the hamster wheel. You can be successful without losing yourself along the way. You can lead a team from a place of self-trust instead of self-sabotage. The path back is simpler than most leadership advice, but it also asks something of you that the corporate world rarely does. You’ll also hear her four-step framework, called HOPE, from her book Beyond Numbing: How Self-Love Heals the Wounds We Hide.

Whether you are leading a team and wondering what it is costing you, or you are early in your career and already feeling the pull to wear a mask, this conversation will open your mind and heart to a new way of living and working.

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How do you define numbness? And, when did you personally begin to recognize numbness in your life for the first time?

Amie Rich: Numbing can be sneaky. A lot of people think numbing only shows up through substances or doom scrolling, but it can actually look like success, overthinking, staying busy, or being hypervigilant. It’s all the ways we avoid truly feeling our feelings. Nobody wants to sit in discomfort, so we find ways to make ourselves feel safe when our nervous system is dysregulated, and we’re operating in survival mode. In that sense, we all numb a little bit.

I began recognizing it in my late thirties while going through a divorce. I realized I had completely lost my sense of self. I was numbed on so many different levels, and that was the moment it became apparent that I was no longer who I thought I was. I had been playing a role for so long that I no longer knew who Amie really was. The concept of “numbing” came later, but that was the first moment I recognized I had been living as someone other than myself.

How did that realization come to you? Was it a conversation with someone, a moment of pain, or something else?

Amie Rich: I think it was a moment of deep unhappiness. Everything in my life felt like it was spiraling in ways I couldn’t control, and that scared me. I had built an entire life and career around perfectionism, people pleasing, and being everything for everyone else. Eventually, I realized, “I’m not happy.”

That feeling became impossible to ignore. I felt out of control, and I knew something wasn’t right. A very uncomfortable decision needed to be made, and even though it was painful, it became the beginning of everything changing.

A lot of people think about coping mechanisms like overworking, overeating, or scrolling on social media. But what are some other ways people numb that may not seem obvious at first?

Amie Rich: Sometimes numbing looks like staying silent. Maybe you’re in a meeting or surrounded by people, and you’re terrified of speaking up because you’re afraid of being judged. You think, “What if I say something wrong? What if my voice shakes? What if I cry?” So instead of expressing yourself, you suppress the feeling and alter your behavior to stay safe.

That’s numbing too.

A lot of us are afraid of vulnerability because vulnerability feels terrifying. So we stuff our emotions down through people-pleasing, perfectionism, fear of judgment, or by staying overly busy. We even glamorize it. Someone asks how we are, and we immediately say, “Busy.” There’s this cultural belief that busyness equals success.

But you can absolutely be successful while still numbing yourself. Many of the traits tied to numbing are rewarded in corporate life. You get promoted for being everything to everyone. But eventually, it costs you. Your numbing always costs you something.

You mention that numbness is often learned. How did you learn it as a coping mechanism early in life?

Amie Rich: Numbing is often conditioning. It’s something we learn very young.

My brother and I were latchkey kids growing up with a single parent who struggled with alcoholism. We learned to walk on eggshells and constantly read the room before saying or doing anything. That became our survival strategy.

Recently, I learned the term “parentification,” and it immediately resonated with me. It describes what happens when a child takes on responsibilities far beyond their years to care for a parent or sibling. Those patterns don’t stay in childhood. You carry them into adulthood with you.

That’s why I say numbing is learned. It’s a conditioned behavior that once helped you survive.

In your book, Beyond Numbing: How Self-Love Heals the Wounds We Hide, you share a story about a conversation with your mother in the car that deeply impacted you. Would you mind talking about that?

Amie Rich: That memory had actually been suppressed for years, and while writing this book, so many old memories resurfaced. That conversation was one of them.

I was very young when my mother casually told me she was gay while we were sitting in the car. I remember understanding what the words meant, but not understanding how I was supposed to process them emotionally at that age. It was such a significant moment, but it was delivered so casually and informally that I ended up stuffing all of those feelings down.

Years later, her partner became the maid of honor at my wedding, and there was never any issue with acceptance. But looking back, I can see how that moment taught me to suppress emotions instead of process them. It became one of the first memories where I realized, “I stuffed that one deep.”

At the beginning of the book, you discuss shame before readers even reach the main content. Why was it important for you to address shame right away?

Amie Rich: Writing this book brought up a lot of shame for me. The entire purpose of the book is vulnerability — opening up my own experiences so that readers can see parts of themselves in them. And when that happens, shame can surface.

It’s the shame around what should have been, how we wish we had handled something differently, or how certain parts of our lives unraveled. I wanted readers to understand from the very beginning that those feelings may come up while reading this book, and that’s okay.

The important thing is not to shove shame back down. It’s to recognize it, honor it, and become curious about it rather than avoid it.

For someone unfamiliar with the concept, how do you recognize shame when it’s happening?

Amie Rich: Shame often feels like that immediate internal reaction where something hits you personally. Maybe you think, “Oof… she’s talking directly to me,” or “I shouldn’t have handled that situation that way.”

Then all the thoughts start flooding in: “Maybe they’re judging me. Maybe I said the wrong thing. Maybe they didn’t like how I handled it.” That spiral begins.

The difference is learning not to suppress those feelings. Instead of brushing them away, you pause and ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” You begin to realize that shame itself isn’t the problem. It’s avoiding it and stuffing it down that causes the damage.

Your book is divided into four sections that spell out H.O.P.E. Can you explain what the first section, “Honor Your Numbing,” means?

Amie Rich: The butterfly on the cover represents the journey through the book. As readers move through H.O.P.E., they earn their wings and reconnect with who they truly are underneath all the conditioning.

The “H” stands for honoring your numbing. That means becoming aware of the patterns keeping you stuck. It’s recognizing moments where you feel triggered and noticing your automatic responses without judging yourself.

Maybe something happens, and suddenly you feel the urge to go shopping, overwork, or distract yourself. Instead of immediately reacting, you stop and ask, “Why do I feel this way? What’s underneath this?”

It’s about recognizing those patterns compassionately, without shame or judgment. Because the moment we judge ourselves, growth stops.

Then comes the “O,” which is owning the cost. That’s where we begin to acknowledge what numbing may have cost us over time — relationships, marriages, connections with our children, or simply years of not fully being ourselves. And that looks different for everyone. But healing begins when we’re honest about the impact numbing has had on our lives.

In the book, you write, “For most of my life, I carried a question like a shadow: What’s wrong with me?” When someone begins recognizing these patterns in themselves, how do they own the cost of their behavior without getting trapped in shame, grief, or self-blame?

Amie Rich: I think it starts with awareness and then choosing again. So many of us try to heal the symptoms without ever looking at the root cause of why we behave the way we do. But when you pause and really look at your reactions, you start realizing that many of them were learned. They were conditioned into you.

If you trace it back, there was probably someone important in your life who modeled those behaviors for you. Maybe they raised their voice. Maybe they shut down emotionally. Maybe they made you feel like perfectionism or people pleasing was necessary for love or safety. And because that became normalized, you carried it forward.

In the book, I talk about moments when I raised my voice with my children and suddenly heard my father’s voice coming out of me. I remember thinking, “No. We’re not parenting like that.” And that awareness became the turning point.

The goal isn’t to punish yourself. It’s about recognizing the pattern, choosing differently, and giving yourself grace in the process. It’s okay to go back to your child or your partner and say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t handle that well. Can we start over?” Vulnerability is healing. We’re all learning as we go. We’re all starting over and choosing again every day.

For me, owning the cost of my behavior motivates me to change because I can see how my actions affect the people I love. But it also seems like many people are completely unaware of the impact they’re having.

Amie Rich: And that’s exactly where awareness comes in. It’s about being willing to turn the mirror around and really look at yourself honestly. That’s where change begins.

When we become more vulnerable with the people we love — our children, our partners, the people we lead — we begin responding from a grounded place instead of reacting from old wounds. That’s what self-love really creates. It allows us to lead, parent, and love from a place of regulation rather than survival.

Did these realizations happen gradually for you, or did something specific shift everything?

Amie Rich: I think I was discovering these things little by little over time, but the real turning point came when my father passed away.

I was helping my brother handle all of the arrangements, and while sitting around with family and friends afterward, I realized I felt absolutely nothing. I couldn’t cry. When I got home, I started asking myself, “What is wrong with you? Why aren’t you grieving the way a daughter is supposed to grieve?”

I began internalizing it and almost gaslighting myself. That moment forced me to look inward because I realized something wasn’t healthy. By that point, I had already gone through a divorce, remarried, blended families, and from the outside, my life looked beautiful. But underneath it all, I was still wearing a mask. I was still trying to be everything for everyone else.

My father’s passing changed everything because it made me realize how disconnected I had become from my own emotions. I finally understood that it was okay to break down. It was okay to be vulnerable.

You’ve had a very successful career and spent decades in corporate leadership. From the outside, many people would probably look at your life and think you had everything together.

Amie Rich: Exactly. That’s the tricky part. Many of the behaviors connected to numbing are rewarded in corporate environments. People pleasing, perfectionism, hypervigilance — those traits can absolutely help you climb the ladder.

I’ve been incredibly blessed with a successful career in corporate leadership at a major motion picture studio. I lead an amazing team, and I’m deeply grateful for everything I’ve accomplished. But eventually I had to ask myself a difficult question: “Did I get here as my authentic self, or did I get here wearing different masks depending on the room I walked into?”

That’s when I realized it was time to lower the mask and simply be Amie.

What changed everything for me was learning how to lead and live from a regulated place. When you’re grounded, compassionate, and emotionally aware, you stop reacting impulsively. You respond differently. And that changes everything — not just professionally, but personally too.

Corporate environments don’t always feel emotionally safe. So how did lowering the mask actually play out in your day-to-day work life?

Amie Rich: Honestly, it started energetically for me. I began doing a lot of energy work and realized how deeply tied I was to other people’s emotions and opinions. I was carrying their energy constantly and allowing it to define how I felt about myself.

Energy work helped me recognize those cords and begin separating my identity from everyone else’s expectations. That was huge.

But lowering the mask wasn’t easy. It was scary. It didn’t happen overnight, where I suddenly walked into work saying, “Here I am, this is the real me.” It happened one small moment at a time.

Maybe it meant speaking up in a meeting even if my opinion didn’t land perfectly. Maybe it meant allowing myself to be seen authentically instead of trying to manage everyone’s perception of me. Little by little, I started stepping outside my comfort zone and realizing I couldn’t control what other people thought about me anyway.

That’s how the mask slowly comes off. One aligned action at a time.

The next part of H.O.P.E. is “Pause.” What does it actually mean to pause?

Amie Rich: Pausing is permitting yourself to slow down. It’s creating space for yourself instead of constantly living in “go mode.”

That can look different for everyone. Maybe it’s journaling, meditation, breathwork, taking a walk, or simply sitting quietly for a few moments each day. It’s allowing yourself to step out of the constant noise and reconnect with yourself.

For me personally, journaling and meditation opened the door to some of the most powerful insights and intuitive downloads I’ve ever experienced. When you finally slow down, clarity starts coming through. Your intuition gets louder. You begin recognizing what’s aligned and what isn’t.

So much wisdom surfaces when we finally give ourselves permission to pause.

It feels like nervous system regulation is deeply connected to this process because these are such sensitive and emotional areas of life.

Amie Rich: Absolutely. There’s a real need to allow things to settle. When we’ve spent years operating in survival mode, slowing down can feel uncomfortable at first. But that regulation is where healing begins.

The final step in your H.O.P.E. framework is “Embody the Freedom.” What does it mean to embody freedom?

Amie Rich: Embodying the freedom is realizing you already have your wings. Everything you need is already within you. The goals, the dreams, the desires, the strength — it’s all already there.

Once you recognize why you’ve been numbing, acknowledge what it has cost you, and finally give yourself permission to pause, something shifts. You begin living from a grounded, centered, regulated place. You stop surviving and start embodying your own inner power.

It becomes this moment of saying, “I’ve got this. I already have everything I need within me.”

You’ve referenced spirituality, intuition, energy work, and mindfulness throughout this conversation. When did that side of your life begin to emerge?

Amie Rich: The “woo” probably came into my life about ten or twelve years ago, but honestly, I think I’ve always believed we’re divinely guided in some way.

I joke about having my “angel posse.” Whenever I need guidance or support, I call them in and ask for help serving people well. But beyond the humor, I genuinely believe none of us is doing this alone. We’re all here to learn certain lessons, and forces are helping guide us toward what we’re meant to understand and become.

Whether it’s energetic healing, meditation, spiritual practices, or simply learning to trust your intuition, I think all of it matters. I believe spirituality is an important part of everyday self-care.

One thing I really admire about your journey is that you’ve balanced corporate leadership with coaching, writing, and speaking. Who are the people you feel most called to help through your work?

Amie Rich: My audience is really me. It’s the high performer. The corporate leader, entrepreneur, athlete, professional — the person who looks like they have everything together on the outside while secretly struggling on the inside.

They’re burned out. Overwhelmed. Disconnected from themselves. They’ve spent years succeeding while quietly losing who they are.

Those are the people I understand deeply because I’ve lived it. I’ve raised children while operating from an unhealed state. I know what it feels like to wear the mask and push through anyway. But I also know there’s a way back to yourself.

Most people who come to me are stuck in patterns they can’t yet see. The coaching process helps them recognize those patterns so they can finally begin shifting them. Once awareness happens, everything starts to change.

You’re also trained in hypnotherapy, NLP, and EFT tapping. How do those modalities fit into your coaching work?

Amie Rich: Hypnotherapy became incredibly important to me because I became fascinated by mindset shifts and how the brain processes beliefs and behaviors.

One example I always give is that the brain doesn’t really process the word “don’t.” If I say, “Don’t think of a pink elephant,” you immediately picture a pink elephant. That’s how powerful the subconscious mind is.

Hypnotherapy allows us to rewire thought patterns and shift behaviors at the subconscious level. You can move something from compulsion to repulsion. You can help someone embody confidence or courage before they fully believe it consciously.

For me personally, becoming certified in hypnotherapy was also a huge step outside my comfort zone. I had to confront my own limiting beliefs around whether people would actually listen to me or trust me. But once I began seeing real transformations in people, I realized, “I can do this.”

That said, coaching itself is never cookie-cutter. Every person brings something different.

I work through what I call the pillars — things like energy work, purpose, courage, mindset, physiology, influence, and leadership. We explore where someone feels strongest and where they feel disconnected from themselves. Most of the answers are already within them. I’m simply helping facilitate that awareness.

What does working with you actually look like for someone who wants a deeper transformation?

Amie Rich: I offer a 12-week intensive coaching program built around those pillars. At the beginning, clients complete an assessment to identify where they currently are, where they want to be, and what transformation would look like for them personally.

From there, we move through each pillar together and begin uncovering the patterns, beliefs, and behaviors keeping them stuck.

And if deeper subconscious work is needed, hypnotherapy can absolutely be integrated into the process. Sometimes people need help embodying confidence, courage, or influence before they can fully access it consciously. Hypnotherapy can help bridge that gap.

When you have the opportunity to speak publicly, what topic are you most passionate about sharing?

Amie Rich: The message I care most deeply about is this: you can be successful without self-sabotage.

You can lead teams, build businesses, influence people, and accomplish incredible things without abandoning yourself in the process. You don’t have to lose yourself to become successful.

I’m passionate about helping people understand that leadership rooted in self-trust, compassion, and self-love is actually more powerful than leadership driven by fear, perfectionism, or burnout.

You can empower others without destroying yourself along the way.

There’s an interesting tension there, though. Some workplaces almost reward self-sacrifice, burnout, and overperformance because it benefits productivity.

Amie Rich: Exactly. But when someone is constantly pushing themselves, ignoring their needs, and operating from fear or survival mode, they’re not actually working from alignment. They’re running on a hamster wheel.

When people feel ownership, alignment, and connection to their work, the results become even more powerful. They’re no longer just performing from exhaustion or obligation. They’re contributing from a grounded place where they feel respected, valued, and empowered.

That creates stronger teams, healthier leadership, and better outcomes overall.

Before we wrap up, is there anything you wish I had asked you today?

Amie Rich: One thing I’d love people to know is that Beyond Numbing wasn’t actually my first book. I first wrote The ABCs of Self-Love, which also includes a companion journal.

That book became the foundation for everything that came later. It’s designed so readers can jump directly into whatever area they most need to work on — boundaries, compassion, vulnerability, forgiveness, or releasing emotional attachments that are energetically weighing them down.

In many ways, The ABCs of Self-Love lays the groundwork. Beyond Numbing came later, once I realized that before we can move beyond numbing, we first need to establish that deeper foundation of self-love and self-awareness.

At the end of the day, the transformation really is possible. You can live from a place that feels aligned, centered, grounded, and fully authentic to who you are.

Where can people connect with you and learn more about your work?

Amie Rich: The best place is my website, AmieRich.com. I’m also on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook.