Breaking Free From Fear’s Hidden Binds

Before entering the conference room, I reminded myself of my intentions: 

• I will have my own back and believe in myself. 
• I can honor others and myself at the same time.
• I will not silence myself and people-please just to avoid conflict or dissonance.

Feeling confident in my intentions, I sat down in the meeting ready to go. To my immense disappointment, I watched myself bend and abandon every intention I had just set. 

Walking back to my car in a daze of disbelief, my Inner Critic was in full force… 

Why couldn’t I stand up for my ideas in that conversation?

Why did I always seem to abandon myself to serve someone else’s needs? 

Why am I always on the verge of tears, my body shaking, when I try to share my own ideas or needs?

A Pattern I Could No Longer Ignore

I didn’t want to keep abandoning myself like this. However, nothing seemed to help me break out of these old protective habits.  

Collapsing into the driver’s seat, I said a silent, pleading prayer to the universe, “Just once, I would like to unlock my voice and show up with the clarity and confidence I know is within me.”

Spirit gave me a little nudge to do a quick internet search for inspirational quotes on overcoming fear. About halfway down the page, a quote caught my eye by a meditation teacher named Osho. Despite my personal desire to skip it and go to the next entry because I’m normally not drawn to the guru types, I stopped to read it. 

The Message I Needed to Hear

It felt like the universe was lovingly talking to me directly through the quote, saying,

“[Michelle] Don’t move the way fear makes you move. Move the way love and joy make you move.” 

Suddenly, I saw my intentions from that morning from a different point of view. While they seemed like empowering, loving statements, they were actually rooted in fears! I was afraid that history would repeat itself and that I was not going to honor myself or be honored.

But this quote left me with a HUGE burning question. What does the alternative way of “moving” from love really look or feel like? 

I had no immediate answer, but I wanted to know… 

What would it have looked and felt like to move from love in that meeting? 

What would have changed? 

How would I have changed, and how would that have rippled out to the others? 

Buzzing with excitement at the prospect of finally freeing myself from feeling like I was being puppetted from the shadow versions of me, the harsh Inner Critic fell silent. Spirit had helped me awaken a new soul-led desire: to be able to discern when I was moving from fear so that I could swap over to moving from love instead. 

Turning Toward the Body, A Somatic Awakening

I had just started my studies in Somatics Parts Work, a contemplative practice that helps connect us with the wisdom and language of the body sensations, as a sacred messenger for the different aspects of us that are lost, scared, and overwhelmed, and wanted to break free. One particular practice that stood out to me was learning how to track the sensations of emotions in our body, even in the most subtle forms, through a series of short body scans and check-ins. 

As I started daily check-ins of tracking the energies of fear in my Body, I was surprised to discover that there were subtle “fears” showing up in my body pretty much every moment of my day. Fear was pushing on me just below the surface of my skin in so many ways: a stomach that stayed clenched and churning; eyes that found it hard to rest and focus on one spot; breathing that was shallow and tight. My body was literally riddled with sensations of fear, but I had gone numb to them.  

And it wasn’t just my physical body, my mental body was full of fear too. I was constantly running worst-case scenarios and what-ifs. My heart felt raw and exposed. And the calmness or resourcing of my soul felt distant and often drowned out. 

Meeting Fear With Love

At first, I wanted to shame myself for not “seeing” this beforehand, but luckily, the quote that Spirit connected me with helped me out of the tricky trap with the invitation to move toward these sensations with love, not judgments or fear. Each time I felt a different version of fear in my body, I spoke a rescue mantra as an antidote to the habit of self-rejection so that I remember to turn toward myself with love: 

May I open my heart. 

May I move with love.

May I receive with love.

May I offer love. 

No matter what circumstance I found myself in, this mantra invited me to stop automatic movements rooted in fear, compassionately reconnect with myself, and root myself back into love before “moving” in any actions.

An Awakening Practice for You

Taking action: This week, as you move through your daily life, I invite you to start liberating yourself from fear as well by building in a few little “Moving from Love Check-Ins”. 

Healing Tip – don’t try to shift, change, or make your body soften open or do anything other than what it is naturally doing. Simply notice what it is doing. The habitual ways we hold ourselves are the main messengers for what is really happening behind the scenes of your inner world. Notice what is there: tightening, gripping, numbness, churning, opening, lightness, movement, energy… Let it be what it is with as much compassion and curiosity as you can. Also, these check-ins are designed to help you engage with the first step of healing: awakening and awareness, so be kind and patient with yourself.

Body Scan:

Invite yourself to pause and open to noticing what sensations are present in and around your Body. This body scan helps you partner with your Body as a Sacred Messenger, discovering how you are unconsciously “holding” yourself and becoming aware of what is present for you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually through the sensations in your Body. 

Next, ask Spirit to help you remember what it would feel and look like to move back into your day grounded in the energies of love. How would you move? 

Recite the mantra: 

Breath in – May I open to my heart

Breath out – May I move with love. 

Breath in – May I receive with love. 

Breath out – May I offer love. 

Softly see and listen to what meets you in this space.

Move back into your day, taking this guidance and realignment with you. 

Reflect: 

At the end of the day/week, reflect on what different ah-has, inspirations, intuitive insights, and guidance you have had as you begin to move more from love and joy, and release all the hidden ways fear was forcing you to move. 

TAKE ACTION: Looking for more soulful daily mantras and practices like this one? Check out Michelle’s podcast, Soulful Practices Podcast, on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts. Each episode shares a different quote and how that quote can help us unbridle more courage, love, and soulful moments in our daily life!