Choose Your MOMents: How the Sudden Loss of My Mother Taught Me How to Live – An Interview with Elizabeth De Sevo

What does it mean to truly choose your moments when faced with the sudden loss of someone who shaped your entire life?

For Elizabeth De Sevo, the unexpected passing of her mother became the catalyst for a profound shift in how she perceives and lives each moment. As the author of Choose Your MOMents: How the Sudden Loss of My Mother Taught Me How to Live, she transforms grief into a roadmap for mindful, intentional living—drawing on eighty years of her mother’s wisdom distilled into powerful, life-affirming quotes.

In this conversation, you’ll discover how Elizabeth’s journey through loss and love inspired her to craft a guide that doubles as an oracle deck of daily insights, why she believes happiness truly comes from within, and how her experiences as a figure-skating agent and global speaker weave into her message of presence. Continue reading or listen in by subscribing for free on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or YouTube to discover how Elizabeth De Sevo’s insights can inspire your own spiritual path.

I’d love to hear about your mom. Every mom is so special—I just spoke to mine; she turned 76 a few days ago, and we talk often. I’d love to hear what your mom meant to you and still means to you today.

Elizabeth De Sevo: There are not enough books written or words spoken that could ever fully express the love and gratitude I have for my mom. She was truly the greatest ambassador of happiness. I hope she will be happy with the book. Mothers are the foundation of everything—their love, kindness, and generosity shape who we are. My mom gave me life in every sense—not just physically, but an incredibly rich and fulfilling life. Even in her death, she taught me life’s greatest lessons. It’s remarkable how mothers continue protecting and caring for us, even when they’re no longer physically present.

You described her as an ambassador for happiness. Why?

Elizabeth De Sevo: Yes, she absolutely was. There are 80 quotes in my book, representing each year of her life, and the last quote is hers: “Think happy thoughts.” No matter the problem, big or small, her response was always the same: “Oh, honey, just think happy thoughts.” It sometimes drove my siblings and me crazy because our problems seemed serious (to us). But now, I understand she was teaching us to use our minds to find happiness because happiness truly comes from within. She was teaching me the law of attraction long before I even knew what that was. I think all parents ultimately want their children to be happy, but my mom embodied this desire uniquely.

Elizabeth and her mother, Brenda, who is wearing the necklace that became the cover of her book

How did she develop that positivity? Was it innate, or something she consciously cultivated?

Elizabeth De Sevo: I imagine it was innate because we never really discussed it. She was naturally a very positive and social person, particularly cheerful in the mornings, which contrasted with my own reluctance to wake up early. It was a running joke between us. Her positivity was something she carried and shared effortlessly.

Is there a particular memory of your mom that vividly demonstrates this trait?

Elizabeth De Sevo: My mom supported me in everything. When I decided to move to Spain without a job, a reason, or a relationship prompting the move, she was supportive despite her own fears about me living abroad. I remember my dad, a lawyer, cross-examined me with questions, as lawyers do, and I lied confidently to reassure him. My mom knew the truth as she was always my confidant, keeping my secrets. That unwavering support and trust stands out vividly.

What motivated you to write Choose Your MOMents? You mention in the title that your mother passed suddenly. Could you share that experience and why you felt compelled to write?

Elizabeth De Sevo: Losing anyone is incredibly difficult. Though losing parents is natural, my mom’s death was sudden and shocking. It left me overwhelmed, sad, and confused about how life could possibly go on. The night before her funeral, I had a profound experience when I went to see her one last time. Looking at her, I got a deep understanding, a download,  that many things we believe are important simply aren’t. Life is a collection of moments, and we have the power to choose how we experience them. This revelation brought me immediate peace and clarity.

After she passed, my mind raced with questions about her final moments—wondering if she drank her favorite tea, watched a good movie, saw a sunset, or laughed and smiled.  Essentially, I questioned whether her last moments were meaningful. It made me realize that we often chase milestones, forgetting that life’s quality truly depends on these small yet meaningful moments. Through my book, I hope to redefine “moments” from mere points in time to tools we actively use to enrich our lives, now being called “MOMents.”

Elizabeth’s Mom with her mother and brothers – John McGuire, Arthur McGuire, David McGuire, and Virginia McGuire.

You’ve curated 80 quotes representing the 80 years of your mother’s life. How did you choose these quotes, and can you explain the writing process behind the book?

Elizabeth De Sevo: I felt deeply inspired and knew I wanted to share this message, though initially, I wasn’t sure exactly how. One day, while walking along the beach in Altea, Spain, the book´s introduction just came to me clearly. I immediately ran back to my hotel and started writing.

I’ve always loved quotes because they’re concise yet impactful and thought-provoking. Each quote in the book includes an insight or explanation, making them practical and easy to implement into everyday life. Over the years, through my studies of psychology, neuroscience, meditation, spirituality, and energy mastery, I’ve gathered these insights and lessons, encapsulating them into quotes. This approach allows readers either to read the book straight through or open it randomly to any page to find daily guidance.

That sounds wonderful—like opening to a random page for a daily message.

Elizabeth De Sevo: Yes! Some friends use it that way and say it consistently answers their questions, which is incredibly rewarding.

Do you have any favorite quotes from the book?

Elizabeth De Sevo: Choosing favorites feels impossible—like picking a favorite child. However, a standout for me is “You are the artist and you are the masterpiece.” It resonates because I truly believe we all have the power to design and create our lives. It reminds me that we shape our own experiences and outcomes.

Another meaningful one is “Leverage what you’ve learned.” This reflects precisely what I’ve aimed to achieve with this book, sharing lessons from my education and life experiences.

During periods of grief, the quote “Where you are is a temporary place” has helped me immensely, reminding me that pain and challenges are transient. Similarly powerful is “We are the story we tell,” highlighting how impactful our words and thoughts about ourselves shape our lives.

I’d love to hear more about your background and what brought you to this point in your life. Did spirituality play a role during your upbringing?

Elizabeth De Sevo: I grew up in New Jersey and had a great childhood, though spirituality wasn’t part of our daily life.  Humor was present in my family, but spiritual conversations weren’t commonplace at our dinner table when I was a kid!

I went to Catholic University in Washington, D.C., and studied abroad in Madrid, Spain, during college. I loved Spain! When I graduated, I began working in New York. Later, I transitioned into the figure skating industry—not as a skater myself, but managing athletes. I jokingly refer to myself as the Jerry Maguire of figure skating, managing Olympic figure skaters and traveling extensively throughout Europe and Japan.

Eventually, wanting a career change, I moved back to Spain, a place that figure skating had often brought me. Initially, I joked that I would move there if I had the perfect job or partner, but since that wasn´t the case, I decided to move anyway.

Elizabeth with her Dad (Ralph De Sevo) at a book presentation one month before he died

How long have you been living in Spain now? Does it feel like home?

Elizabeth De Sevo: I’ve been here 14 years, and yes, it definitely feels like home. I vividly remember the moment when I realized this—just walking down the street one day and feeling that comfortable at-home feeling. Though my mother always said, “Home is where your mother is,” making New Jersey forever my first home, Spain has become my second home.

Do you see yourself living in Spain for the rest of your life?

Elizabeth De Sevo: It’s funny when people ask that because I rarely look beyond the present moment. But yes, I do see myself staying here. I truly enjoy my life in Spain and, as I envision my future, I imagine continuing to live here.

What about Spain has captured your heart and makes you want to stay?

Elizabeth De Sevo: When I first arrived in Spain as a college student, stepping off the plane gave me a strangely familiar feeling, even though I had never visited before. I immediately loved the culture and language. Always learning something new!  Life here feels easy and welcoming, particularly for foreigners. It’s easy to meet people and integrate into society. The social lifestyle, incredible food, and meaningful cultural values truly resonate with me.

My two long-time best friends (visiting me in Spain), Cathy Valinoti and Nora McGrath

It sounds like you’re implying the U.S. isn’t friendly and has bad food—is that right? (laughter)

Elizabeth De Sevo:  No! Of course not—I don’t mean it that way. Spain simply offers a different outlook on life, where people naturally find joy in small moments. There’s a deep sense of spirituality and appreciation for history embedded in everyday life. It doesn’t mean these things aren’t present elsewhere, but they’re particularly prominent here.

Could you tell us about your personal awakening to consciousness or mindfulness? Was there a specific moment or experience that sparked this journey?

Elizabeth De Sevo: I remember a vivid dream from childhood when I was about eight or nine years old. In the dream, my entire family was sleeping side by side, yet I was awake sitting up in my bed. An angel hovered above, winking at me. Although I didn’t fully understand it at the time, I’ve always been intrigued by psychology and spirituality. My journey deepened significantly after moving to Spain, particularly influenced by “The Artist’s Way,” which introduced me to practices like morning journaling. Thinking about it later, I realized I’d actually been practicing the law of attraction—manifesting opportunities like my career in figure skating.

What attracted you to figure skating?

Elizabeth De Sevo: It all started during the 1994 Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan drama—I became completely intrigued. Beyond the controversy, I fell in love with the artistry, music, and athleticism of the sport. Initially, I was simply a fan, attending shows and competitions, but I eventually envisioned myself working closely within the industry. The opportunities began to show up, and years later, that dream became my reality.

Take us behind the scenes of being an agent in figure skating. What was your role like?

Elizabeth De Sevo: Being an agent involves managing public relations, media engagements, and brand partnerships for skaters. Although I didn’t handle their coaching or on-ice performance, I supported their careers in many ways—costume design, music selection, post-competition opportunities, speaking engagements, and endorsements. It’s multifaceted and incredibly engaging.

How many skaters would you typically manage at once?

Elizabeth De Sevo: At one time, I managed more than ten skaters of various competitive levels, including Olympic champions, world and European champions, and rising stars. The commitment varied depending on each skater’s career stage and ambitions.

What did you learn from working with such dedicated athletes?

Elizabeth De Sevo: Their dedication, discipline, and mindset were truly inspiring. Athletes meticulously structure their lives around training, diet, sleep, and mental preparation. Their relentless focus and visualization techniques exemplify the power of mindset and manifestation. These are valuable lessons applicable to anyone’s life.

Could you share some practical insights on how to “choose your moments” daily, especially for busy, goal-oriented individuals?

Elizabeth De Sevo: Practically, it’s about pausing throughout your day to ask yourself if what you’re doing is truly how you wish to spend your moments. Whether it’s in a specific conversation, the job you are doing, or the meal you are eating, reflect briefly before proceeding. The key is emphasizing choice. Life is indeed a series of moments, and it’s empowering to consciously choose how you experience them.

I recently faced this myself when my dad went on hospice. Initially overwhelmed with the thought of losing him, I had to remind myself of the lesson from my own book and to consciously choose how I was going to spend those last moments with him. I was able to shift from panic to peace and purpose.  I made them enjoyable and special for me and for him.  This approach can transform your experiences.

Can you elaborate on the difference between the scarcity and immensity of time? How can we shift our mindset toward abundance in terms of time?

Elizabeth De Sevo: We often view time negatively, as scarce or limited. Instead, recognizing each moment as abundant and rich can help us live more intentionally. By fully embracing our present experiences, our sense of time expands. I’ve learned to appreciate each moment, discarding limiting beliefs about age or timing. This perspective transforms life into an abundant experience, filled with potential, possibility, and fulfillment rather than anxiety about limited time.

You’re also a keynote speaker, taking this message of choosing your moments into corporate and business environments. How do driven individuals integrate this philosophy without losing their ambition?

Elizabeth De Sevo: That’s a key point—you don’t have to give up your drive or ambition to embrace mindfulness or to choose your moments. Being present simply helps you become more mindful and intentional, enhancing rather than hindering your achievements. Research consistently shows that companies fostering employee well-being experience significantly better outcomes. Employees in these environments tend to be healthier, happier, and more productive. Additionally, the concept of limbic resonance highlights how profoundly we’re affected by the attitudes and energy of those around us, reinforcing the importance of creating mindful, supportive workplaces.

What sets you apart as a speaker in these settings?

Elizabeth De Sevo: While I believe we’re all unique in our approaches, my message brings a fresh perspective on staying present, deeply rooted in my personal experiences with grief. We rarely discuss grief in corporate settings, yet everyone encounters various forms of loss—whether personal, relational, or even professional. Addressing grief openly resonates strongly with audiences, helping them navigate these often-overlooked emotional challenges in professional spaces.

For example, after losing both my parents, I had to organize a large professional business event shortly afterward. I reframed this challenging experience by consciously choosing moments that would be meaningful for all attendees, sponsors and participants. This intentional creation of meaningful interactions and experiences can enhance both personal well-being and professional effectiveness.

This concept of intentionally creating meaningful moments resonates deeply. Can you elaborate on how this applies practically in professional environments?

Elizabeth De Sevo: Absolutely. Companies often underestimate the power of small interactions—such as the welcoming experience provided by a receptionist. These seemingly minor interactions significantly influence how employees, clients, and visitors feel about the organization. Every person within a company contributes to shaping these moments, creating a collective atmosphere that profoundly impacts overall morale and productivity.

Where can people find your book and connect with you online?

Elizabeth De Sevo: My book is called Choose Your Moments: How the Sudden Loss of My Mother Taught Me How to Live. Inspiration for Everyday Life. It emphasizes intentional living, inspired by the transformative lessons learned from grief. You can find it on Amazon, and my website is chooseyourmoments.net. I’m also active on Instagram, and you can connect with me professionally on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Elizabeth, you have such a warm and vibrant presence. Before we conclude, would you like to share a quote from your book as a takeaway?

Elizabeth De Sevo: I’d love to! Here’s one selected especially for this moment: “We want to do things that matter and often measure ourselves against things that don’t.” Its explanation is—”There’s no reward for accumulating possessions or titles; ultimately, our lives are defined by the beautiful MOMents we create and share with others.”

That’s perfect and truly meaningful. Thank you so much for your time and wisdom today.

Elizabeth De Sevo: Thank you so much. It’s been wonderful sharing these MOMents with you.