Discover Your Inner North Star and Live With Purpose – An Interview with Michelle Dutro

What if the discipline you once sought outside yourself was really an invitation to discover the strength within?

For Michelle Dutro, the path from Air Force veteran to firefighter, and eventually to coach, author, podcaster, and founder of Inner North Star Retreat Center, was never a straight line. Each chapter—whether battling flames, navigating corporate sales, or answering the call of spirituality—was guided by her relentless pursuit of purpose and her belief that life can always hold deeper meaning.

In this conversation, Michelle shares how discipline became the foundation for her awakening, why shifting perspective is the key to limitless possibility, and how her retreat center was built to help others reconnect with their true calling. With humor, resilience, and heartfelt wisdom, she invites us to consider that everything we’re searching for may already be within us. Continue reading or listen in on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or YouTube to discover how Michelle Dutro’s story can inspire you to follow your own inner North Star.

You have such a fascinating journey—from serving in the Air Force to becoming a firefighter, and now as a coach, author, podcaster, and retreat center founder. I’d love to go back to your childhood. What did little Michelle think she was going to grow up to do or be in this world?

Michelle Dutro: Nothing. Honestly, I never thought about my future. Some kids dream of being astronauts or movie stars, but I didn’t. Looking back, I don’t know if I even considered that I should have a plan. At the time, life coaching, mentorship, or talking about “having a vision” didn’t exist. I was more excited about waking up to Captain Crunch the next morning than about planning a career.

That lack of direction carried into my early college years, where I spent more time playing volleyball than sitting in class. Eventually, I realized that wasn’t sustainable—I couldn’t keep doing that into my forties. Unless I went pro, which wasn’t realistic, there was no plan. Not even the thought that I ought to have one.

You mentioned that you enlisted in the Air Force. What motivated you to begin that path?

Michelle Dutro: Discipline. I sat on the beach one day and told myself, Michelle, you need to figure something out. This trajectory isn’t good.

I didn’t have family or friends in the military, but I knew it was the one place that would instill discipline without giving me a choice. My first choice was the Marines—I figured if you’re going to do it, go all in. But the Marines, Navy, and Army all required a six-year commitment. I could barely commit to four years of college, so that wasn’t going to happen. The Air Force only required four years, so that’s where I went.

Of course, there are easier ways to learn discipline. Anyone who has served knows about the “shakedown” on the first night of basic training. They start friendly, joking with you, and then at 3 a.m., they’re screaming in your face and yanking everyone out of bed. In that moment, I thought, Maybe I could have just bought a book on discipline instead of signing up for four years. But I don’t regret it. It was a great experience, and it shaped me in ways I still carry.

And through those four years, did you cultivate discipline in your life?

Michelle Dutro: Absolutely—but I also cultivated something else: the belief that everyone should want to strive for excellence.

From basic training to tech school, from being stationed in Florida to later in Alaska, I was always observing how things were done and pointing out ways they could be improved. That wasn’t exactly welcomed. For anyone who remembers the movie Private Benjamin, it was a lot like that—I was reminded more than once that the military wasn’t asking for my opinions. But I didn’t stop. I just tried approaching it differently, from new angles, to see if someone might listen.

The discipline, though, has stayed with me. I’ve been up between 4:30 and 5 a.m. my entire adult life. Having a plan, an action step, and a clear trajectory is non-negotiable. The military ingrains that in you—you must know your mission and strategy. That mindset never left me. And it gave me a lifelong drive to look at how things could be better, even when no one is asking.

What led you to become a firefighter for a season of life, ultimately? Take us from the Air Force to a firefighter—what happened in between?

Michelle Dutro: After leaving the military, I went into corporate sales. My background was in ground radio electronics, so I stayed in fields connected to electronics—it was just the easy path. But I found myself often asking, Is this really the best use of my life? Is this what I want to be remembered for?

I didn’t want my tombstone to say, Michelle sold more widgets than anyone else. There’s nothing wrong with sales—it just wasn’t my calling. I wanted to do something truly useful and helpful in the world. My first thought was, well, the most helpful people are doctors—I should become a doctor. But at 33, the reality of years of medical school wasn’t practical. So I scaled it back: maybe I could be a nurse, or even better, an ER nurse. Then I thought, someone has to get people to the ER—that’s a firefighter.

I had no idea how hard it would be to get hired. I assumed you applied like any other job. In reality, it took me two years of applying all over Washington. At one point, a department put out a call, and 1,400 people showed up to test for only ten spots. Eventually, I was hired in Kent, Washington, at 35 years old—easily old enough to be the mom of some of the 18-year-olds going through the academy with me. But for me, it was about living into the greatest and highest use of my life, so I stuck with it until I got in.

How long were you a firefighter, and what was that experience like—especially beginning at 35?

Michelle Dutro: It was tough—a real challenge. But challenges are my fuel. The moment someone says, You can’t do that. You’re too old. You’re not strong enough; it shifts from something I want to do into something I must do.

The fire academy was nine weeks of grueling training, and rightfully so. A burning building doesn’t care if you’re a 5’4″, 35-year-old woman. The flames won’t turn down out of sympathy. I had to prove, to myself and my crew, that I could do the job without putting anyone else in danger. I also had two little girls at home—I wanted to make sure I came back safely to them. So, I was grateful the academy was as hard as it was; if I couldn’t make it, it was better to find out there than in the field.

Now, as a coach and retreat center founder, personal growth and spirituality are central to your work. At what point along the way did mindfulness or consciousness come into your life? Was it something you grew up with, or did it emerge later?

Michelle Dutro: Not at all. Growing up, my “biggest decisions” were which Pop-Tart flavor or cereal I wanted. No one in my family talked about things like life paths or deeper purpose—it just wasn’t the focus.

What changed everything was the worst call a firefighter can get: CPR in progress on a child. Most of us in the fire department have kids, so the first thought that races through your mind is, What if this were my child?

We rushed to the scene, where a neighbor was doing CPR on a seven-year-old boy named Jacob. His mother was hysterical. Our entire crew was there, another crew was there, the medics were there—we all worked on him far longer than usual because none of us could bear the thought of giving up. Eventually, the medics said there was nothing more we could do.

As the others cleaned up, I stayed behind. I picked Jacob up, laid him on the couch, pulled a blanket over him so he looked like he was sleeping, and knelt beside him. I held his hand and prayed: God, I’ve never asked you for anything, and I’ll never ask again. But if you’ll let him open his eyes, I will devote the rest of my life to serving You—to living in the highest way I can, every single day.

I truly believed he would open his eyes. And when he didn’t, I was left with a deep question: Why was I only willing to be my best self if I got what I wanted? Shouldn’t I live that way regardless?

Two weeks later, his parents came to the station. That almost never happens, and even more miraculous, my entire crew happened to be on shift that day. Jacob’s mother brought us a photo of him and shared what happened: he’d had a flu virus, played T-ball that day, then went down for a nap and never woke up. A virus had surrounded his heart. There was nothing anyone could have done.

She could have shown up full of resentment and anger. Instead, she came with grace, love, and gratitude for what we tried to do. Witnessing her response cracked me open. I thought, if I say I’m committed to being the best person I can be, then that commitment cannot be conditional. It has to be my path, no matter what.

Shortly after, I left the fire department. I realized I wanted to help people prevent crises rather than just respond to them after tragedy struck. I didn’t know what that would look like yet. I just knew it was time to figure it out—even if it meant Googling, What should I do with my life? And laughing at the answers.

What was the first modality or training you pursued after leaving the fire department?

Michelle Dutro: The first was biofeedback, and it came about through pure synchronicity. After leaving the fire department, I found myself asking, “What should I do with my life?” And as often happens, when you put the question out there, opportunities start showing up—if you’re paying attention.

This firewalking school kept appearing on my radar, which made no sense to me. I thought, I’ve been a firefighter—why would I voluntarily walk barefoot across flaming hot coals? It seemed absurd. I kept brushing it off, but it wouldn’t leave me alone. A week later, I found myself at the firewalking school.

That experience became one of my major pivot points. We did things I had never imagined: angel channeling, meditation, mediumship, chanting over flaming cow dung, and a sweat lodge I actually tried to crawl out of. I thought I had landed in a hidden-camera prank. But for the other 14 women there, this was just another Thursday.

By the end, after walking on fire, something shifted. No one told me, You’re going to feel more peaceful, but I did. A deep inner calm began to unfold. It opened me to the possibility that there’s an entire world out there I had never considered. That was the beginning of my awakening.

Soon after, synchronicity led me to a particular biofeedback device. I became a biofeedback specialist and opened a private practice, working with clients for about 10 years. I focused on nutrition, health, and overall well-being—but what I discovered was that everything came down to mindset.

People would come in with struggles in health, marriage, career, family, or fulfillment, but underneath it all was the same root issue: I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know what my life means. Helping people uncover their purpose and their “why” became the foundation of my work, and still is today.

At the same time, you were raising your daughters. How did this shift in your worldview and training impact your parenting?

Michelle Dutro: I knew that if you tell kids this is the way things are, they’ll often push back. So I never forced anything. Instead, it was always an invitation.

I’d say, Hey, there’s an angel channeling workshop this weekend—want to come? Or we’ve got a feng shui expert teaching at the house—want to sit in? My home became a place where classes and gatherings happened regularly, so my daughters were naturally exposed to it all.

It wasn’t about making them believe what I believed. It was about giving them opportunities to experience, to stay open. And they did. To this day, they’re both very accepting and open-minded, which is something I value deeply.

Talk to me about the vision for your retreat center. Was this something that developed gradually, or was it more of an aha moment?

Michelle Dutro: It definitely developed over time.

When I worked with clients one-on-one, one of the biggest challenges was helping people shift perspective. It’s not the events that happen to us—it’s the meaning we assign to them. But to change meaning, you have to shift perspective.

In an hour-long session, someone might have a breakthrough, but then they’d go home to the same spouse, kids, house, routines, TV shows—and by the next session, it was like starting over.

I began to believe the best way to create lasting change was to physically remove people from their daily reality. When you’re in a new environment for several days, your brain has a chance to rewire in new ways. That’s when transformation can take hold—and with continued community or coaching afterward, it has a much stronger chance of lasting.

So a retreat center became my vision. Returning to California, where I was born and raised, I set my sights on finding land here. That turned out to be every bit as challenging as getting into the fire department. Affordable land in California is rare, but it was always the goal.

How long did you search before finding the 20-acre property you now have in Julian, California?

Michelle Dutro: Three years. I spent about a year in Northern California, a year in Laguna Beach, and another year in the Paso Robles/Atascadero area—searching in all three places for something that would work. Eventually, I gave up.

Because I’m such a big fan of Hallmark movies, I decided the answer was to move to Vermont, buy a bed-and-breakfast, and turn it into a retreat center. In my imagination, the whole town would gather on Saturday nights at a hoedown, and life would be full of magic and meaning. I even booked tours with a realtor to see properties in Vermont.

My friends and family thought I was out of my mind: Michelle, you’ve never lived back East. Your entire life is on the West Coast—what are you doing? But I had convinced myself it was time.

Then someone suggested, If you’re looking for four seasons and a small-town feel, check out Julian. I laughed and said, That’s not a real place—you just made that up. They assured me it was an hour east of San Diego. I looked it up, called a realtor, and said, You have one day. I’ll drive down, and if this doesn’t work, I’m off to Vermont to start my Hallmark movie.

This property—the one I live on now—was the very last place we looked at that day. And that was it.

What was it about that property that resonated with you most?

Michelle Dutro: The view. It’s so expansive that half of people’s stress melts away the moment they step out of the car. You’re surrounded by trees, with Vulcan Mountain in the distance, and a full 360-degree view.

Wildlife is everywhere—birds, deer, even little foxes that sometimes come up when I’m watering. Despite being only an hour from San Diego, we get true four seasons here. Snow in the winter, leaves changing color in the fall. The town itself is tiny—one stop sign, no traffic lights. Driving through feels like you’ve stepped right onto the set of a Hallmark movie. It turned out to be perfect.

How long did it take you to build the retreat center into what it is today?

Michelle Dutro: The first phase of construction was set to finish in May 2020—right when COVID hit. I had invested everything: my savings, retirement, and credit cards. And suddenly it all came to a halt.

It wasn’t just COVID. The aftermath brought division—some people refused to come unless masks were required, while others refused to come if masks were present. For a retreat meant to foster peace, that kind of conflict was unbearable. Even into 2023, it felt impossible to create the relaxing, supportive environment I envisioned.

It broke me. I put the property up for sale and moved to Mexico. Around that time, I had bloodwork done, and my naturopath called to say my adrenal numbers were so depleted she didn’t know how I was still standing. She said, When your mission, purpose, and calling get yanked away, it’s like part of your soul is gone. Hearing that reflected back to me hit hard.

I came back, did more construction, and shaped the property into something even closer to my ideal vision. This year, we finally had our actual grand reopening.

And now, when people arrive and say, I felt my stress lift the moment I stepped out of the car, I know it was all worth it.

If someone came to you saying, “I want to open a retreat center,” what are some of the first questions you would ask them?

Michelle Dutro: The first is, you and who else? How many people do you have, and how many do you think it will take to run? Because here’s the reality: I am head of construction, landscaping, retreat leadership, marketing, sales, web design, social media strategy—and according to my PTSD service dog, I’m also head of animal control. Every creature here would tell you I’m in charge of feeding them, too.

When you’re wearing all the hats, you can only give each area about 10%. Maybe one thing gets done really well, but the rest falls apart. So you have to be brutally honest about your time, your expertise, and your finances. What can you handle, and what do you need to hire out? You cannot be all things to all people.

Another big lesson: when you run a retreat center, you’re not at a retreat. Guests often say, You must love sitting in these hammocks, soaking it all in. In reality, I’ve only sat in that hammock twice in seven years—once to test if it would hold, and once when a photographer needed the shot. For me, being here is work. My mind is always running on, wondering how this can be better. What could create a greater sense of peace, inspiration, or wonder for someone else?

Inner North Star Retreat Center is such a beautiful name. Can you paint a picture for us of what people experience when they come onto your property?

Michelle Dutro: Thank you—it truly is my pride and joy. We’re open only in late spring, summer, and early fall because this is a true four-season environment. Half the year, it’s too cold to fully enjoy the outdoor spaces, which are at the heart of the retreat.

I’ve always been inspired by Walt Disney—not only his vision, but also his perseverance when everyone told him “no.” He famously said Disneyland would never be finished as long as the world is creative, and I feel the same about this place. Whenever I say, Okay, I’m finally done, everyone laughs: Sure, for this week.

Like Disneyland, I wanted to create multiple unique “lands”—areas that spark wonder, play, or reflection. I wanted guests to step into spaces where they aren’t thinking about their everyday problems, because that break in pattern makes it easier to shift perspective.

There’s a fairy garden that, ironically, men spend the most time in. They’ll sit there long after their partners wander off, reconnecting with a playful, nostalgic side they rarely access. Across from that is a meditation area. We have 15 different seating areas scattered across the property, plus a regulation bocce ball court, horseshoes, and lawn games. You could have 20 people here and never run into each other.

For me, it’s about giving people spaces that invite joy, reflection, and a sense of possibility. When you’re sitting high up on a mountain, breathing fresh air, with deer walking past and a vast 360-degree view, it naturally prompts the question: What’s possible for me?

Why did you choose the name Inner North Star?

Michelle Dutro: That name came to me over 20 years ago in meditation. I asked God to give me a name for my work—something that said it all. Within minutes, it was clear: whatever you’re seeking in life, you already have within you. Your answers, your guidance, your purpose—it’s not outside of you.

The North Star is the universal guide. No matter where you are in the world, it always points true north. It’s constant and reliable. To me, that same guidance lives inside us. Your inner North Star is always there, telling you toward your right path, your true calling, and your purpose. You just have to tap into it.

Talk to me about the retreats you host at Inner North Star. Are these retreats you personally lead, or is it a place where others can bring their groups as well?

Michelle Dutro: Opening our doors to other retreat leaders is brand new. For the last seven years, I’ve hosted my own retreats here, but only in between phases of construction. Now, with the property finally complete, we’re launching a full open schedule.

So yes, moving forward, leaders can bring their own groups—whether it’s a corporate retreat, a leadership summit, a creative gathering, or a community-focused event. For example, a team of executives could come here for strategic planning, or a wellness leader could host their own program. The possibilities are wide open.

Primarily, though, I lead retreats myself. I divide them between my nonprofit work—PTSD retreats for female veterans and first responders—and private-sector health and wellness retreats. Interestingly, the two share about 80% overlap.

At the core, both are rooted in stress reduction and rediscovering purpose. You can’t step into your fullest life if you’re in survival mode, living in fear or doubt. That’s where everything I do begins. Stress reduction was the foundation of my work 20 years ago as a biofeedback therapist, and it remains central today.

The second piece is meaning and purpose. Whether someone is stuck replaying trauma, dealing with a difficult marriage, unhappy in their career, or struggling with health, those loops keep the mind locked in the past. The work here is about breaking that cycle, reducing the emotional charge, and creating space for new possibilities.

We use tools like biofeedback, heart rate variability training, headsets that stimulate creativity, cold plunges, hot tubs—the list goes on. Body, mind, and spirit all come together to help people reset and return to their lives with energy, clarity, and a renewed sense of why they’re here.

What is your ultimate desire for someone who attends—whether it’s a veteran at a PTSD retreat, a leader hosting their team, or a guest at a health and wellness program?

Michelle Dutro: A change in perspective.

I want people to leave saying, I see things differently now. So many come in believing, This is just the way my life is, this is who I am, and this is all my future can be. But when we shift the meaning we assign to the events of our past, the future opens up. Suddenly, limitless possibilities become available. That’s my deepest hope for everyone who spends time here.

Beyond the retreat center, you also offer one-on-one coaching, personal coaching, and online courses. For someone who can’t travel right now but wants to engage with your work, what options do you offer?

Michelle Dutro: Thank you for asking. I’m deeply proud of the online course because it brings together 20 years of my work into six modules.

By the end, participants know—without question—why they’re here, what their purpose is, and what has been holding them back. Much of that comes down to values alignment. If we don’t know what we truly value, we’ll always stay stuck. Fear of judgment, fear of failure, or even fear of success can outweigh the importance of sharing our message. But when your mission matters more than anyone’s opinion, you become unstoppable.

The course also teaches how to listen to the “messengers” that show up in life—those synchronicities or people who appear at just the right moment. My own journey has been shaped by that, including the connection that brought me here today.

What I want most is for people to stop hiding. The world needs more goodness, more wisdom, more voices of hope and healing. Whether it’s through my retreats, coaching, or courses, my goal is always the same: to help people get clear on their why, break free of what’s been holding them back, and step boldly into the life they’re meant to live.

You’ve talked about your online course. I’m curious about your coaching. As I listen to you, I hear such belief in people—this deep conviction that every person has a purpose and a calling. I also sense your groundedness, your rootedness, and even a playfulness that comes through. Do you still offer one-on-one coaching for people who want individual support?

Michelle Dutro: Not so much anymore. What I do now would be more of a VIP experience—a one- or two-day intensive here at the retreat center. But before anyone books that, they must go through my online course first. That course lays the foundation: how the world works, how energy works, how to listen to messengers. Without that, we’d just be covering basics instead of building forward.

When someone is truly ready—done wasting time, ready to stop letting anything stand in their way—that’s who the VIP days are for. Those intensives give you an exact roadmap for the next year of your life, so you leave unstoppable. But it’s definitely a high-level commitment, and not for everyone.

For many, the online course serves as the ideal entry point. It’s accessible, powerful, and I’ve never had anyone complete it without discovering their purpose, shifting their decision-making, and gaining clarity on their life path.

Beyond that, I’ve just launched a community. At minimum, I go live once a month—teaching on a topic like we’re doing here, then taking Q&A. Those sessions are recorded, so the library keeps growing. It’s a way to have consistent access to me and to stay in the energy of moving forward, taking action, and living into the highest version of yourself.

What’s the best way for people to connect with you—whether for the course, community, coaching, or retreats?

Michelle Dutro: You can find me on TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn—pretty much everywhere except Pinterest. My site, MichelleDutro.com, has details about my retreats, podcast, books, community, and anything else I have coming up.

For the retreat property itself, there’s InnerNorthStar.com. That’s where retreat leaders, companies, or anyone interested in renting the property can see photos, features, and what the land offers.

I recently separated the two—Inner North Star is the physical retreat center, and Michelle Dutro is me and my work. That way, whether someone is looking for my teachings or just a beautiful retreat location, they can find exactly what they need.

When the property isn’t being used for retreats, you recently listed it on Airbnb so people can access it that way as well, correct?

Michelle Dutro: That’s right. When there aren’t retreats scheduled, people can book the property for themselves. Maybe it’s a couple’s getaway, maybe someone wants to bring their yoga mat and create a private retreat, or maybe they just want to experience the peace of being on 20 acres surrounded by nature. Guests have the whole property to themselves to enjoy.

It sounds like it could also be an incredible location for photo shoots or content creation, with that kind of view. Do you allow that?

Michelle Dutro: Absolutely. Another beautiful option that I haven’t marketed as much as I should is small elopements or vow renewals. Instead of going to a courthouse, you could come here with a few close friends and celebrate in a truly unique setting.

The very first thing I built on this property was a 1920s-themed champagne room. We also have a vineyard, and this space is complete with a velvet couch, chandeliers, and even a glitter floor that makes you feel like you’re standing inside a glass of champagne. For me, it symbolizes celebration—because by the time someone leaves a retreat here, they should feel crystal clear about their life and ready to celebrate who they are and where they’re going.

It’s perfect for honeymoons, anniversaries, milestone birthdays, or any moment worth honoring. As Walt Disney famously said, “Disneyland will never be finished as long as there is imagination left in the world.” I carry that same spirit here. In fact, Walt sits at my imaginary round table of mentors, and whenever I create a new space, I ask him, What else would you add? What am I missing? I think he would be proud of the champagne room.

Michelle, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and for the work you’re doing. You’re making such a difference in people’s lives, and the world is better because you’re living your purpose.

Michelle Dutro: Thank you—and thank you for everything you’re doing as well. I appreciate being here, and I know your listeners and readers appreciate the space you’ve created.