Energetic Interplays: Free Yourself From Toxic People

It happened in an instant. I could feel the blood rushing from my head to my feet. How could I be so drained all of a sudden? I was beaming and full of life moments ago, and now I want to lie down. I looked across the room and realized… the gentleman I had just conversed with was trying to connect with me energetically over and over again.

It happens all the time. We work on showing up as the brightest and best versions of ourselves, and inevitably, someone—or, if you’re in a toxic workplace or family, several someones—tries to dim us. 

Yes, we all need to understand how to have boundaries, deal with high-conflict people, and temper strong egos. Still, deeper energetic interplays are not typically found in your HR training or therapy session. Here’s what you need to know:

1. Toxic people aren’t aware they’re draining you.
   Imagine there is an energetic cord connecting you with your loved ones. Sometimes that string is light and airy, sometimes it’s huge and heavy. Sometimes it’s healthy and reciprocal, sometimes it’s draining and one-sided. People who feel empty try to energetically connect with as many people as they can to fill themselves up, and it can feel like they’re pulling your life force. Who do you have a love/hate relationship with? Who makes you feel depleted after interacting with them?
2. They provide an opportunity for growth.
   Nothing in this world is inherently good or bad. Everything has a place and a purpose. If you’re surrounded by toxic people, they have something to teach you… about yourself. Think of it this way: If they throw mud, and it doesn’t stick to you, they’ll get bored and target someone else. Are you allowing their mud to stick? Toxic people only pay attention to folks who give them what they are craving – attention, conflict, validation, pity, control, excessive help, etc. The question becomes… Why are you giving that to them?
   
3. They can be valuable. Yuck! I know.
   That narcissist is serving a purpose. We need all frequencies on this lovely planet. But, how could people depleting us be valuable? Well, the cold hard truth is that sometimes we need to be depleted. Being strong, powerful, and confident is not always helpful. Connection thrives in vulnerability. Who wants to be close to someone who constantly makes them feel inferior? 

When this fellow drained me, I was networking at a local conference and radiating. I was so excited to be sharing my work with like-minded women. Several people commented on my confidence and energy. While that may sound wonderful, a high energetic frequency wasn’t supporting the genuine and open conversations I was looking to create. I utilized that toxic moment to bring myself back into balance with the purpose I was there to serve, being approachable and available for support. 

The next time you’re ready to run from the toxic people in your life, take a step back and look for the opportunity in the situation. Why has this been placed in front of you? How can you leverage this interaction to benefit yourself and others?

Toxic relationships are typically multi-layered and challenging, especially when they involve a parent, a close loved one, or a co-worker with whom you must play nice. If you want to become immune to those who drain you, let’s talk. Schedule a no-cost consultation with me. We will get as much done as we can in those 30 minutes. 

Pop quiz: How did you feel reading the majority of this article? How did you feel when you read that last paragraph? Did you notice a shift in your energy or mood? 

TAKE ACTION: We tend to crave information because information is comfortable, but information doesn’t change anything. Taking action is not always comfortable, but it gives you results. We challenge you to get a little uncomfortable and schedule a call with Crystal. Just like connecting with one person can drain you, connecting with another can fuel you.