Eutopian Visions of Hope: Breaking Free from the Self-Shame Spiral

What happens when trauma takes place in Your Sacred Space; Your Safe Place; Your Home? My Journey over the past four {4} years has catalyzed the integration of an immense network of information to support My Spiritual Emergence while shedding the layers of self-shame associated with the cumulative trauma experienced in This Life. ReLiving™  the Trauma, daily, in an energetic web of My Life has guided Me on My Journey of ReCovering™ from Grief of Loss, ReHabilitating™ from impacts of Trauma, and ReVisioning™ a Life Path while holding on to the Thread of Hope My Soul provided a glimpse of during the darkest of nights of My Soul. 

Sitting in silence, in My Sacred Space, is when I first ReAwakened™ My Inner Vision. Nearly four {4} years later, I find Myself sitting in the same space, in silence, to bring forward, in written word, context to what I was shown of My Soul Journey on Planet Earth; what has been, what is, and the ReFelection™ of what is to come. The Vision: an Eutopian Way of Life, on Planet Earth, centered around an Open-Hearted Embodiment of Unity and Oneness. 

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

The words of Emerson resonate with the ReALiTY™ of what My Awakening was experienced as; a window into My Past, in the Present Moment, to represent The Future of what is to come based on Standing in My Power and Utilizing My Voice to Speak My Truth. As I sat still in the absence of time and space, four {4} years ago; feeling all that is, has been, and will become, a Visual began to play in front of Me. 

In late December of 2021, I found Myself consciously unpacking the causal link to the root of daily hostility and discrimination in the workplace. After six {6} months of watching My Career collapse, and becoming a pariah in the workplace, I was informed by My former employer, The City of Tacoma, that their Legal Team advised staff to take no action in setting a precedent in the matter of my personal experience of sexual harassment and hostile work behaviors in the workplace. My previous tendency to catastrophize led to the projection of the ending of my career for having utilized My Voice to Speak My Truth. While I had already lost roles and responsibilities over the previous six {6} months, the mental projection continued to forecast that My former employer would continue to enact their observed patterns of behavior to systematically silence and suppress the voices of Truth. And thus the self-shame spiral clutched Me to My Core.

After I received the determination by My former employer, I was encouraged to take the time I needed to recover from the impacts. With the mental turmoil spinning around My mental space, I took a personal day to cope with the stress, fear, and anxiety I was overcome with from having {metaphorically} thrown the stone into the waters of my “career”. Knowing good and well that my former employer has a documented pattern of reacting to matters {of any kind} with smoke and mirrors {i.e., gaslighting} rather than taking ownership of the reality of the situation to effect meaningful change. From that moment forward, the waves of the ripple of suppression continued to strike day after day as My ego’s death began in parallel, fueling the self-shame spiral of deeply negative emotions.

As I lay in stillness in My Sacred Space, on a stormy January afternoon in early 2022, I studied the raindrops collecting on the windowpane, taking note of an absence of cars parked along the street, and noting blackness filling the windows of the neighboring homes; the feeling was of eerie solitude. Suddenly, My Timeline ReView™ initiated; My Inner Vision began to merge with what I knew to be True on a Soul Level. It felt as if I was the last ReMaining™ inhabitant of the Puget Sound Region after mass evacuation had taken place. Having no comprehension of what I was experiencing, My Inner Vision continued to zoom out to receive a 30,000-foot view of the Planet. What I witnessed were Global Efforts taking place to Heal the Earth of the Toxicity We Co-Created along Our Timelines on Earth. 

“He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’”

— Revelation 21:5

Now, at the time of My Timeline ReView™, I was in a fragile state of Contemplation of Life as it interwove with My Egoic Identities {sexual orientation}, and the Present Reality of experiencing systematic discrimination based on these identities. Having newly EmBarked™ on a Journey of Self Discovery, I was truly unable to comprehend all of what I was shown, in the moment, through My Inner Vision. As I began to engage in what felt like a Waking Lucid Dream, a song began to play in My Home from an external source, which initiated the orchestra; yet I was home alone. 

You might be wondering what song played out of nowhere. Well, it was most certainly the Main Title – From “Star Wars: A New Hope”. As I put this into written form and conscious context for the first time, I Am experiencing full-body chills; confirmation that what I was shown through My Inner Vision has aligned with every action taken to reach this Present Moment. For those who do not know Me well, I did not grow up with an affinity for Star Wars, or anything Sci-Fi related; it wasn’t until diving deep into the Gaia Network that I ReOpened™ My Galactic Knowledge of Past Training intended to prepare Me for The Moment My Timeline Split from the old earth into The New Earth.

As the music played throughout My Home, I began to wander with the attempt to locate the source. As I reached the threshold of the front room, where an African Spear of Protection hangs above, I froze in place as if a barrier of energetic protection kept me from wandering any further into the liminal space of what had been. At that moment, I began to {Literally} spiral back to the location I had been sitting in silence; unwinding My Linear Timeline on Planet Earth before coming to rest in The Thinker pose. Unwinding the Lives Lived along My Soul Journey on Planet Earth left Me unable to comprehend what had taken place, what I was shown, or what I was to do next. 

The final resting pose allowed for a moment to process before a phone call woke Me from My Waking Lucid Dream. What lay ahead was daily navigation of a Spiritual Awakening, devoid of any personal Knowledge, Education, or Language from This Life to communicate My Experience. 

“I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.” 

– Vincent van Gogh

Upon ReFlection™ of My Spiritual Awakening, induced by Trauma, I ReCall™ that this was not the first time in This Life that My Soul came through Me to Channel a ReMinder™ of Hope.

All rights of imagery owned solely by Tyler M Daniels

Through My Spiritual Awakening, I became glaringly aware of My Privilege in This Life. The breadth of Ancestral Lineages, both biologically and through marriage, sent a shockwave through the collective that opened the door to the UnKnown™. My Mission: incorporate positive utilization of Personal Privilege with the Intention to Elevate the Frequency of Life on Planet Earth for All. What unfolded between the cracking open of Truth until This Present Moment was RePrioritizing™ My Privilege to maintain My 3D Timeline while ReEducating™ Myself on what it means to be in the role of a Cycle Breaker, while unpacking My “Identity” as a Rainbow Crystal {Hybrid} Starseed™. 

A tricky element associated with Traumatic Events is the Outfall of Emotional Wounding that strikes the Root Chakra; fear, shame, and guilt associated with scarcity, sympathetic nervous system activation, and heightened survival instincts. For Me, Shame was a Root Wound that I will focus on; Intending to Transmute the low vibrational emotion with that of Gratitude for the opportunity to Speak through Written Word.

Experiences with Shame began early for Me, in This Life. The Root of Shame in This Life links back to Religious Programming and Indoctrination. The Evangelical Lutheran Synod, of which I was baptized into on April 20, 1992, at five {5} days old, holds firm doctrinal truths that homosexuality is a sin. A particular sin that would send you to hell without complete repentance. Well, that’s not quite what “god” let Me Know when I arrived at My Personal Choice Point in This Life. At the Choice Point, “god” ensured that there was no Truth behind the Human Construct of “gender”, and My Incarnation on Planet Earth served as an opportunity to Live True to the Past Soul Incarnations that have included Intentional Systematic Oppression of Homosexuality. 

My First Pilgrimage to Italy {in This Life} opened My Eyes to the Patterns of Oppression the Roman Catholic Church implemented from Rome to Florence. While walking along the pedestrian rim of Brunelleschi’s Dome in Florence, Italy, 24 year old Me Observed the fresco of The Last Judgement by Giorgio Vasari and Vincenzo Borghini. Being up close and personal with a masterpiece of art {the largest fresco in the world}, a voice said, “this is what ‘someone’ thought hell looked like?” It felt as if, for the first time, that hell felt truly fabricated. 

As My First Pilgrimage through Italy continued to Florence, it was the first sight of Michelangelo’s David that left Me breathless. Seeing a flagrant display of raw humanness in such beauty and detail left Me with the notion that even the Roman Catholic Church has limitations of what it will attempt to suppress, cut off, or cover with a fig leaf. The act of suppression of art by the Roman Catholic Church paints an eerily similar parallel to that of Adam and Eve “becoming aware of their nakedness” and covering themselves with foliage. 

As I began to Consciously Acknowledge the Root of Daily Hostility in the workplace stemmed directly from a group of individuals finding issue with an aspect of Myself, as a homosexual, the Self-Shame Spiral began to generate itself into motion. Feeling as though My adult “work life” had been ReVerted™ back to My childhood education where I experienced daily bullying by others in the Evangelical Lutheran School System based on 1} My Body, 2} My Privilege, and 3} classmates’ projection of My identification as homosexual. My Present Reality began to raise the necessity to come to My Own Determination of what was True for Me and what ReMained™ as a false projection onto Me from trauma associated with Religious Indoctrination. 

What I found was a need to ReTreat™ to find Myself. And in so doing, I EmBarked™ on a Journey of ReMembrance™. My Journey of ReMembrance™ ReQuired™ significant internal ReFelection™ in order to acknowledge that the education I received through the Evangelical Lutheran School System between the ages of four {4} and eighteen {18} was outdated, underfunded, and a curriculum simply stuck in a time where science was not valued over the written words of The Bible. While I successfully navigated school with relative ease; aside from youthful penmanship class and toxic behaviors, I began ReFlecting™ on what it was like to be graded on My ability to memorize passages from The Bible and creeds from the Council of Nicaea, and struggle to ReMain™ present with constant external bullying from male classmates and educators along the way; stifling My Creativity and Self-Expression. 

Consciously engaging in a Life ReView™ of My Educational Journey through “Earth School,” in a contained private schooling system, catalyzed My husband and Me to EmBark™ on a Journey to Co-Create a Conscious ReEducation™ for Our Present Selves. While My religious education supported the ability to maintain track with various elements of the content we Consciously interacted with, it became very clear to Me that I had a vast library of stored information in My Brain that needed to be ReWired™; specifically surrounding the concept of Linear Time on Planet Earth. 

My early schooling programmed Me to believe in the Human Construct of Creationism; the belief that literal interpretation of The Biblical Text is fact. Now, through My college years of education in Civil Engineering at Seattle University, I ReProgrammed™ Myself to understand that Planet Earth was simply not created in a linear six {6} days as We interact with it in The Present Moment. Our ReEducational™ efforts brought into focus that Our Personal Discernment is key. We, as Humans presently living on Planet Earth, have been educated through a system that is designed to fill our brains with facts and figures while training us to become obedient to a way that is simply unnatural for a Human to thrive in Life {i.e. The Military Industrial Complex}. 

The outcome of the Conscious ReEducation™ of Self is presented below in a high-level overview of Sources that I discerned to be True, for Me, and supported My ReAwakening™ through Traumatic Life Events. My Deepest Hope is that this outline of ReSources™ will support You along Your Journey of ReEducating™ Yourself; beyond a single individual or educational system as presently available to You. 

As 2025 comes to a close, I wish to share My Hope for the Future of Humanity on Planet Earth. I Hope that We, as Conscious Creator Beings have the capacity to Unite Together to Co-Create a System of Education that supports the Global Awakening of Humanity across all age brackets and education levels. Bridging a Conscious Awareness that Humanity has been Systematically Suppressed from obtaining free, broad spectrum educational ReSources™; of which, Shame can become attached to the individual’s perceived lack of education. As We Journey to ReBuild™ The New Earth, Hope ReMains™ at the forefront, for Myself, that the resonant frequency of Co-Creation eclipses the engrained egoic pattern of competition for resources by elevating to Unification in Oneness. 

Here you can ReView{TM} ReLYT’s Personal Curriculum for The New Earth, developed over the Past Four {4} Years.

TAKE ACTION: Explore the outline of ReSources™ here to deepen Your Awareness of Human Potential. Navigate what ReSonATEs™ for You, first, and allow Your Journey to unfold from there! ReLYT have curated a Playlist for Your Listening Pleasure as an accompaniment to this article for Your Waking Meditation; Hope You Enjoy!