Finding Stability in Times of Change

Sometimes life feels so steady that we hardly notice the small details around us. We go through our routines, make plans, take care of our responsibilities, and trust that tomorrow will resemble today. Then, something shifts.

A relationship shifts. A diagnosis comes. Someone we love passes away. A job ends. A child moves out. Our body changes. An old identity no longer fits. The future we pictured starts to change without our say. Sometimes, the change is not dramatic. It can just be too much at once—too many choices, too much information, too many tasks, too many people needing us. We start to feel ungrounded.

Grounding means coming back to yourself. It is not about going back to who you were before things changed. It is not pretending everything is okay or forcing yourself to be calm when you feel scared, sad, angry, or unsure. Grounding is about finding what is steady, nourishing, and true inside you, even as life keeps moving. It lets you quietly say, “I am here. I am in this body. I am in this moment. I do not have to solve everything right now. I only need to secure my footing for the next step.”

People naturally want things to be predictable. We build routines, expectations, roles, relationships, and stories to help us know who we are and where we fit. When these things change, we can feel lost. We might worry about what will happen next, replay old conversations, or imagine the worst. Our minds wander to the past and future, even though our bodies are here now. Grounding helps us reconnect with the present. This does not mean the present is always easy. Sometimes it is full of grief, uncertainty, disappointment, or fear. Grounding does not mean escaping these feelings. It means staying with them without leaving ourselves behind. There is a big difference between saying, “I need this feeling to stop,” and saying, “I can remain present with myself while this feeling moves in me.” The first is resistance. The second is presence.

We might picture a grounded person as always calm, centered, and in control. But grounding does not mean being perfect emotionally. You can be grounded while crying, angry, grieving, worried, or afraid. Grounding just means that, even with strong feelings, you stay connected to yourself. Instead of being lost in the storm, a part of you remembers where the shore is. This matters most during grief, big changes, caregiving, illness, relationship shifts, work problems, or any time life feels out of control. We cannot always make the world steady, but we can learn to find steadiness inside ourselves.

Grounding starts with the body because the body is always in the present. The mind can go back to a conversation from years ago or worry about next week, but the body stays here, right now.

Try this: Notice your feet on the floor, the chair holding you, your hands, and your breathing—without trying to change anything. Look around and see where you are. These steps might seem too simple, but often, simple things help most when our minds feel overwhelmed.

When life feels too big, focus on something small and real—your feet, your breath, the chair, the room, this moment. You do not need to figure out your whole life to be present for the next minute.

Grounding is also about finding direction. When things change, we often ask, What should I do? But maybe the first question should be, “What matters to me now?”

When we feel lost, our values can guide us. Things like compassion, integrity, family, courage, kindness, faith, honesty, creativity, service, love, and presence. Whatever matters most to you can help you find direction when life feels uncertain. You might not know where your life is headed, but you can decide how you want to move through it. That is what inner orientation means. Instead of only asking, “How do I make this turn out the way I want?” try asking, “Who do I want to be as I go through this?” This question shifts your focus from controlling what happens to choosing how you show up.

Grounding also needs nourishment. When we feel overwhelmed, we often stop doing the things that keep us well. Meals become irregular. Sleep is disrupted. We stop moving. We ignore friends. Nature is just something we see through a window. Creativity gets put off because it feels less important than everything else. But nourishment is not a luxury. It is how we take care of ourselves while carrying life’s weight.

Pause and ask yourself, “What restores me instead of just distracting me?” There is a difference. Scrolling on your phone can distract you, but a walk outside can restore you. Being busy might distract you, but talking with someone who understands you can restore you. The answers are different for everyone, but what matters is noticing what helps you feel more connected to yourself.

When we feel unsteady, our minds often fill the unknown with assumptions. We might think, Everything is falling apart. I will never get through this. I should be handling this better. Nothing will ever feel normal again. These thoughts can feel true because they are so strong. Grounding helps us tell the difference between what we fear and what we actually know.

Ask yourself, “What is true right now?” Maybe the truth is: I am hurting. I do not know what comes next. I am tired. I need help. I am grieving. I am changing. But there can be other truths too: I am still here. People care about me. I have made it through hard times before. I do not have to decide everything today. There are still beautiful moments. I can ask for help. Two things can be true at once. Life can be very hard, and something good can still be present. You can be grieving and grateful, afraid and brave, unsure and hopeful, tired and still moving forward. Grounding lets us hold all of these truths.

Create Your Personal Grounding Practice

Grounding works best when it becomes familiar before we desperately need it. You do not need an elaborate ritual. Choose practices that are simple enough to use in ordinary life. Here are some examples.

1. The Five-Minute Return

Stop what you are doing.

Place both feet firmly on the floor.

Take three slow, natural breaths.

Then ask yourself:

What am I feeling?
What am I needing?
What is actually true right now?
What is one thing I can do next?

2. Name Five Anchors

Identify five things that help you feel connected to yourself.

They might include:

• walking
• music
• prayer or meditation
• journaling
• time outside
• talking with a trusted friend
• reading
• cooking
• gardening
• time with animals
• creative work
• movement
• silence

Write your five anchors somewhere visible.

When life becomes difficult, we sometimes forget what helps us. Let the list remember for you.

3. Create a “What Is True” Page

Divide a journal page into two columns. On one side write: “What I Fear.” On the other write: “What I Know.”

Allow yourself to write everything.

Then notice how much emotional energy may be attached to things that have not actually happened.

This is not about dismissing legitimate concerns. It is about distinguishing reality from anticipation.

4. Use Your Senses

When thoughts are racing, bring your attention into physical experience.

Notice something you can see, hear, touch, smell, or taste. Use all of your senses. Sensory awareness gently reminds the mind: I am present now.

5. Choose a Grounding Object

Keep something nearby that reminds you of steadiness: a stone, photograph, piece of jewelry, shell, written affirmation, prayer card, small object from nature, or something connected to a person you love. When you hold it, pause. Let it become a physical reminder to return to yourself.

6. Reduce the Horizon

When the future seems overwhelming, shorten the distance you are asking yourself to travel. Instead of asking “How will I get through the next year?” Ask yourself, “What do I need to get through today, or the next hour, or the next ten minutes?” Decide how much time and space you can manage.

A Grounding Inventory

Grab your journal.

Take a few calm moments and consider:

What does my body need more of right now?

What thoughts are creating unnecessary noise?

What emotion needs acknowledgment rather than fixing?

What can I simplify?

Who helps me feel more like myself?

Where am I giving energy I no longer have to give?

What restores me

What do I know for certain today?

What is one small thing within my control?

You do not need to answer everything immediately. Sometimes the question itself begins the return.

Reflection: Where Is Your Ground?

Take some time to write about these questions:

1. When life becomes uncertain, where does my mind usually go?
2. What are the first signs that I am becoming ungrounded?
3. What does being grounded feel like in my body?
4. What people, places, practices, or experiences bring me back to myself?
5. What am I currently carrying that does not belong to this moment?
6. What am I trying to control that may not be mine to control?
7. What remains steady in my life despite everything that is changing?
8. What three values do I want to guide me through this season?
9. What do I need less of?
10. What do I need more of?
11. What truth have I been avoiding?
12. Who do I want to be while I move through what is happening?

A Seven-Day Grounding Practice

For the next seven days, begin each morning with three questions:

What am I feeling today?
What do I need today?
What matters most today?

Then choose one grounding action. It can be a walk outside. Drinking your coffee without looking at your phone. Sitting quietly for five minutes. Writing one page. Calling someone you love. Stretching. Listening to music. Standing outside and feeling the air against your skin.

At the end of the day, ask yourself, “When did I feel most present today?”

Over time, these answers reveal something important. They show you the path back to yourself.

The Ground Beneath You

Life will shift.

There is no version of being human in which everything remains predictable. People change. Bodies change. Relationships change. Work changes. Dreams change. We experience beginnings we did not expect and endings we never wanted.

Grounding does not stop these changes from happening. It gives us a place to stand while they do. Maybe the goal is not to be so strong that nothing can shake us. Maybe it is to know ourselves well enough that, when we are shaken, we know how to come back to ourselves.

So, when the world around you starts to change, you do not need to wait for certainty before moving forward. Pause. Feel the ground. Notice what is here. Remember what matters.

Then ask yourself a gentle question: “What is steady, nourishing, and true for me right now?” Start there. The ground does not have to last forever to support you. It just needs to be strong enough for your next step.

TAKE ACTION: If change, grief, caregiving, or an uncertain new chapter has left you searching for steadier ground, Christine Bailor-Goodlander offers compassionate support for navigating life’s most vulnerable transitions. Through transformational coaching, she helps individuals reconnect with what matters, regain clarity, and move forward with greater intention. Explore Christine’s work and discover ways to work with her at Collaborative Growth Coaching.