Finding True Happiness in Everyday Moments – An Interview with Cathy Shuter

What if happiness isn’t something you chase, but something you cultivate—moment by moment, choice by choice?

For Cathy Shuter, author of nearly forty books and founder of Cathy’s Wellbeing Club, the journey into writing and coaching began not from perfection but from pain. Losing her mother at thirteen, navigating challenges of self-doubt, and searching for meaning, she discovered that journaling, personal development, and community could become lifelines—not just for survival, but for joy.

Over the years, Cathy has transformed her love of writing into practical tools that reach people who might never have picked up a traditional self-help book. From evidence journals to forgiveness practices, from gratitude experiments to embracing the “seasons” of life, her approach is refreshingly down-to-earth and deeply accessible.

In this conversation, Cathy shares how small daily practices can create resilience, why celebrating even the tiniest successes matters, and how building true community may be the key to a happier world. Continue reading or listen in by subscribing for free on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or YouTube to discover how Cathy Shuter’s vision of happiness can inspire your own.

I am blown away by the number of books that you have available on Amazon. I think I counted almost 40. When it comes to writing and creativity, did you find that you loved to write as a kid, or did that come to you later in life?

Cathy Shuter: I think when I was little. Like many of us, when a teacher tells you you’re good at something, you listen. I was told I was good at creative writing and art, and I felt very motivated by that encouragement. It really demonstrates the power of people’s words.

Because I believed it—and still believe it now—I poured my energy into writing. As a teenager, I also began exploring personal development in my own way. I remember sitting at an old-fashioned typewriter, where half the letters didn’t even work properly, and typing up my first manuscript called What’s Fact and Fantasy. I made photocopies, illustrated the front cover, and mailed it to three different publishers. They all turned me down, but their responses were encouraging, which reminded me again of the power of words. Their rejections didn’t put me off.

How did your writing develop as you got older? Did you continue with creative writing, or was there a break, and then you kind of revisited it?

Cathy Shuter: For me, writing deepened because of challenges in my own life. My mum died in a psychiatric hospital when I was 13, and that had a huge impact on me. I was searching for support, and I found books that gave me hope and comfort. That inspired me to start journaling.
I would write everything down and copy quotes or passages from books that really spoke to me. That process gave me so much personally, but I also felt this urge to share what I was learning in a way that could reach people who might not normally read self-help or personal development books.

When you were introduced to personal development, what were some of the authors or speakers who helped you during that time of your life?

Cathy Shuter: As a teenager, I can’t honestly remember specific names. But later, The Secret had a big impact. So did Eckhart Tolle and Paulo Coelho with The Alchemist.
Reading those authors made me think, These people really know what they’re talking about. They encouraged me not to give up on my dreams, to have dreams, and follow them. Additionally, they provided maps and guidance on how to achieve them.
For me, it became about gathering information that made sense, recording it in my journals, and then finding a way to share it with others. I think what helps is that I’m quite down-to-earth and pragmatic. That tone appeals to people who might normally dismiss personal development as “woo-woo.” Sometimes I’ll say something in a clearer, straightforward way, and they’ll respond, Oh yeah, I can see the point of doing that. That’s really where it all started for me.

Did you grow up in a family with some form of faith or spirituality, or did it become a part of your life later?

Cathy Shuter: Well, interestingly, my granny was born in India, and she was Parsi. Most of my other relatives—my parents, aunts, and uncles—were Christian. I went to Sunday school and that kind of thing when I was younger. Still, I found myself shying away from very structured religion with specific rules, especially when those rules were judgmental toward people who didn’t follow them. Instinctively, I felt we should be supporting people rather than judging them. So, I began figuring out what felt right for me. If somebody—whether religious or not—said something that made sense, I embraced it. It might have been in a book or in a conversation, but if it resonated, I kept it. Over time, I gathered wisdom from various sources in an eclectic manner.

Where did you grow up, and where do you live now?

Cathy Shuter: I was born in Norfolk, UK. I now live in Kent, which is just another county down. I’ve lived in the UK my whole life, but as I mentioned, my granny was from India. My aunt lives in America, so I’ve been fortunate to travel and visit family in different places.

I know you’ve touched on this a little bit already, but I’m curious about how writing has been truly helpful for you in terms of your own transformation and journey. Take us to that moment in time when you sit down at your—well, I don’t know, do you write with a laptop now? I don’t think you’re writing with a typewriter anymore, are you?

Cathy Shuter: No, no, I’ve upgraded. I travel quite a bit, so I do a lot of my writing on my phone. I’ll send it to myself as an email, then copy and paste it into a document on my laptop. I still love an actual journal, though—something you can hold in your hands with a pen.

With journaling, I use it almost like an evidence journal. It helps me feel braver about trying new things. Someone once suggested a gratitude practice. At first, I thought, What difference does being grateful make? But I decided to test it out. For 30 days, I wrote down everything—good, bad, or indifferent—in my journal. What I found was that by treating it like an experiment, I became more open-minded and more willing to try new things. You’ve got nothing to lose. You try something, and either it doesn’t work for you, or maybe you just haven’t given it enough time. Interestingly, I’ve noticed that the practices I resist most often end up giving me the greatest benefit in the end.

When you sit down to write a book, what does that feel like internally? Does it feel creative, healing, transformative, overwhelming? Talk to me about that feeling.

Cathy Shuter: It’s all of those things. Honestly, the turning point for me came during the pandemic. When lockdown hit, I got pulled into the constant stream of worrying news, and it completely drained me. I decided to step away from that and instead immerse myself in books—real books—and see what I could learn from them. It was therapeutic. And I thought, if something in a book works for me, why wouldn’t it work for someone else?
That’s really how I found my way into coaching. When I was 13, I could have used someone like me at school. We didn’t have that kind of support then, but I was blessed with a fantastic art teacher. She probably knew about my family circumstances. She wasn’t pushy, but she made herself available. She’d say, Cathy, if you want to come to the art room at lunchtime, I’ll be there. And I did. On hard days, I’d show up, and she’d let me talk—or not talk—and just create.

That taught me something important: most of us already have the answers inside. What we need is someone who cares, who listens, and who occasionally asks the right questions to help us expand our thinking. Books can do the same. Sometimes I’ll read something and feel provoked—I disagree with this!—and then I have to ask myself, Why does this make me so angry? Often, it reveals something I needed to learn about myself.

One of the big themes of your work is happiness. You talk a great deal about cultivating happiness, and so I’m curious: what does it mean to be happy? How would you define happiness? Is it a feeling? A mindset? Something else?

Cathy Shuter: I think for me, happiness is a feeling of contentment, a sense of well-being—even when life is challenging. I don’t think we should deny emotions like anger, grief, or fear. But even during difficult times, if you look around, there’s usually something beautiful or meaningful happening too. Noticing those moments reassures me, calms me, and helps me settle into that contented state. Happiness may mean different things to different people, but for me, it’s that feeling of grounded well-being that can be present even when life is less than perfect.

How do you cultivate happiness in your life? Would you describe yourself as a happy person? Is it a natural disposition, or do you work at it?

Cathy Shuter: I used to think I was very optimistic and happy, but looking back, sometimes I was probably just putting on a smile. Now I’m more honest about how I really feel, and I encourage others to do the same. You’re going to have down days, and that’s okay. What matters is knowing those feelings don’t have to last forever. You can return to a state of equilibrium, and you’ll also have really good days. It’s about accepting that happiness isn’t constant, but you can always return to a state of well-being.

It seems to me that there are some people in our world who are just predisposed to positivity and contentment. They’re the ones who stand in line at the grocery store, and when there’s a problem, they’re like, “Oh, it’s okay, I’ll look at the magazines.” Or they’re stuck on the freeway and say, “Great, I’ll listen to a podcast.” I have to be honest, Cathy, I don’t like those people, because I’m jealous. I want to be like that!

Cathy Shuter: I don’t think many people like those people because we wonder, You can’t be for real. But acceptance is something that can be learned. Take the traffic jam example—you’re in a hurry, you feel frustrated. If you train yourself, you can pause, breathe, and allow the anger to pass. Then you can choose to listen to a podcast or shift your focus.

It’s about knowing it’s okay not to be okay, and then settling yourself back down. I see it as having a toolbox: what works for you in one situation may not work in another. And a tool that works for me might not work for you. At different times in our lives, different strategies help us. That’s why I love learning and trying new things. When I find something that works, I often end up writing about it. I even wrote a book about acceptance, because traffic jams and similar frustrations were a real struggle for me. Learning new approaches gave me strategies I can now use—and share with others.

In addition to being a writer and a life coach, you’ve spent much of your professional career working with individuals who have special needs. I’m not sure if you’re still in that role, but what have you enjoyed most about serving the world in that way?

Cathy Shuter: I absolutely love coaching the pupils and staff at the school where I still work. The students have a diagnosis of autism, and what they’ve taught me is that communication has to be flexible. Some people need visuals, others need slower speech, and others need it written down. It’s made me realize that we all know, in a way, where we are and where we’d like to be. The solutions are inside us.

A coach’s job is to understand and communicate in a way that works for that person. And working with people with special needs has shown me that I can learn at least as much from them as they can from me. Everyone—whether it’s a stressed-out staff member in a children’s home, or someone exhausted from working in a hospital—has unique skills and talents to offer the world. Nobody else can give exactly what they can give. That’s been a huge lesson for me at school: every individual has something to teach me.

You have created what you call Cathy’s Wellbeing Club, with multiple ways for people to connect with your writing and your work. One of the aspects of your mission is to cultivate the seven C’s. I have them listed in my notes, but would you mind walking us through them? If you get stuck, I’ll remind you.

Cathy Shuter: Seven is quite a lot to remember! What happened was, years ago, I realized the value of community. When I started connecting with like-minded people, I saw the benefits of belonging. And I realized that to create true community, we all have to work together to uplift one another. That’s why we eventually registered as a community interest company. Our ultimate aim is to have a well-being center by the sea here in the UK.

You said Community Interest Company. Is that correct?

Cathy Shuter: Yes, in the UK it’s like a not-for-profit. If I received a lot of funding, I could fundraise under a CIC. It’s similar to a charity but a bit freer, with fewer restrictions—though, of course, you’re still accountable to accountants and all of that. Ultimately, the idea would be to run a vegetarian café with a music space, art space, coaching rooms, a bit of camping, and even a small animal sanctuary. It would be open to local people and visitors alike, with everyone encouraged to share their skills to support one another.
Now, the seven C’s we talked about are communication, cooperation, and collaboration—those are the first three. If we can’t communicate our needs and cooperate by listening to each other, then collaboration becomes impossible. But with those in place, like-minded people can work together more effectively.

Next is coaching. I’ve been coached myself, and I also coach others. Coaching helps people unpick where they are, clarify where they want to head, and stay accountable. Then there’s compassion—for animals, people, the planet—anything to do with the heart. Creativity is another. Creativity isn’t just painting, dancing, or writing, though those are wonderful. It’s also about thinking creatively, finding new solutions to problems that might otherwise seem impossible.

Finally, celebration. Since ancient times, people have gathered around fires to sing, dance, and cheer each other on. We need to celebrate ourselves and others to bring the community together. That’s why I call them the Seven C’s—it’s a play on words with the Seven Seas. For a CIC, you need a mission and aims, and ours is to create a true sense of community.

We’re already doing this through Cathy’s Wellbeing Club. On Facebook, we host a virtual café for people who don’t use Facebook; we use Substack, and we also hold in-person events when possible. But we don’t want our community to be limited to Kent—we want like-minded people everywhere to connect. That’s why I was so excited about Awakened Magazine, because it brings together people with similar dreams who can support one another.

Thank you so much for sharing your vision. One of the fascinating things about you, Cathy, is that your message is something almost everyone can get behind—and it’s so clear and simple. You say, “We need cooperation, collaboration, communication.” A lot of people I talk to say things like, “I’ve got this message from another galaxy, you’ve got to align your chakras, and build an energy field around you,” and the average person goes, “Huh, what?” Whereas your message is, “Let’s love one another, connect, support each other, and pursue our dreams together.” Do you find that this practical, clear communication is just who you are, or is it something you’ve developed strategically?

Cathy Shuter: It’s a bit of both. I’m naturally down-to-earth, which is why I kept my interest in personal development quiet for a long time. To people around me, it might have seemed magical or strange—like, What on earth are you reading? But over time, especially through my work and the books I’ve read, I realized these messages are too valuable to keep hidden. The challenge is that many people I know wouldn’t pick up those books, so I needed to translate the key ideas into something accessible.

For me, it’s about presenting tools, not prescriptions. I’ll say, “Here’s something you might try,” and break it down step by step—almost like instructions in a toolkit. If it works, great. If not, try something else. That approach makes personal growth accessible to people who might not normally be interested in it.

Accessibility is very important to me. Everyone should be able to take part—people with mobility issues, people who can’t afford expensive retreats, people just trying to make ends meet. Currently, even simple family outings to the seaside in the UK can seem out of reach due to costs such as parking. I feel strongly that we need to create opportunities that truly include everyone.

One of your more recent books is titled Together, Let’s Find Ways to Happier Days, where you outline a 30-day program to cultivate happiness. I’d love to walk through a few of those encouragements. One of them is keeping a journal. You mentioned journaling earlier—do you have a certain time of day you write, is it daily, or do you write only when you feel compelled?

Cathy Shuter: That’s adapted over time. At home, I live in a caravan and I use a physical journal—a notebook I write in by hand. When I’m traveling, which I do quite a lot, I write on my phone and later transfer what’s most important into my journal.

I also keep files on my computer. For example, I once participated in a “no complaining challenge” where the goal was to refrain from complaining for 21 days. It was harder than I imagined! You’re allowed to ask for your meal to be replaced at a restaurant, but what you can’t do is go home and gripe about it—that’s complaining. The exercise was challenging, but I learned a lot.

Journals are very practical. You can write down hopes, dreams, experiments, challenges, and inspirations. At the end of each year, in December, I review my journals. Even if I felt like the year was tough, I see reminders of beautiful moments: a holiday we enjoyed, or the dog that joined our family. It helps me realize life is good, even with its hardships. Sometimes just writing down the painful experiences helps release them. Later, when I read those entries, I can extend empathy to myself and remember to go easier on myself.

Keeping internal gratitude is another one of your suggestions—focusing on gratitude for a day. Can you expand on that a bit?

Cathy Shuter: A while back, on Facebook, a woman named Beth Hewitt ran a 30-day gratitude program, and I signed up. I thought, What have I got to lose? Each day, we were guided to focus on a different aspect of gratitude and write down three things we were grateful for—ideally not the same ones every day. For example, I adore my dogs and cat, but I couldn’t just write about them every day and be done with it.

The practice encouraged me to notice gratitude for different areas of life—gratitude for myself, for small things like clean water, and even, most challengingly, for difficulties. In the middle of a challenge, it’s hard to see anything good. But looking back later, you can realize: yes, that was awful, but I learned this from it, and now I can help someone else. That shift helps you see yourself as part of something bigger, and reminds you that we all have purpose.

Forgiveness. How would practicing forgiveness help me be happier?

Cathy Shuter: Often when we’re unhappy, we’re stuck reflecting on something from the past—something we did, or think we did wrong, or something someone else said or did. We replay it over and over, and in doing so, we keep beating ourselves up. Meanwhile, the other person may have forgotten all about it. Spending so much time in anger or regret keeps us from being happy.

Forgiveness starts with ourselves. We need to forgive our own mistakes, forgive our loved ones—who can be very irritating sometimes—and even forgive people we find deeply challenging. Forgiveness doesn’t condone bad behavior or excuse harm. But it releases us from the constant replay of hurt.
The hardest part, and what I’m still working on, is extending forgiveness to some of our world leaders. It’s easy to feel judgmental, angry, and upset—but it doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Whenever I feel that twinge of anger, I try to forgive both them and myself. It doesn’t mean they’re off the hook; it means I’m not ruining my own life by obsessing over it.

Affirmations are another tool you encourage people to use, and from your writing, it seems they’re really a passion of yours. How do you use affirmations in your own life?

Cathy Shuter: For me, an affirmation is always in the present tense, as if the thing you want is already here. For example, I feel happy and abundant. By saying it aloud, writing it down, even creating art or taking photos around it, you train your brain to look for evidence of that reality.
The key is positivity. Saying “I want to lose weight” doesn’t inspire much change. But saying, ‘I’m healthy and getting healthier every day ‘ brings all the elements of health into focus. It’s not just about avoiding the chocolate biscuit—it’s about building a lifestyle aligned with health.

Yes, I’m getting hotter and sexier every day.

Cathy Shuter: There you go. Enjoy that one, David.

Spending time alone is another encouragement you share for cultivating happiness. Why is that important?

Cathy Shuter: I used to be afraid of being on my own. It felt like being left behind—everyone else was doing something, and maybe I didn’t measure up. But by allowing myself to sit with those feelings, breathe, and practice mindfulness, I discovered that inspiration and creativity often strike in solitude. If you’re constantly surrounded by people, those moments rarely come.

Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night in a hotel with a brilliant idea. I have to write it down immediately or it’ll vanish. Solitude gives you the freedom to catch inspiration whenever it arrives.
There’s an important distinction between being lonely and being alone. Many people feel lonely even in a crowd. Being alone, on the other hand, is about being comfortable with yourself—doing the things that light you up, nurture you, and make you feel good.

Another encouragement you have is to celebrate success along the way.

Cathy Shuter: I feel like celebration needs to happen all the time—literally all the time. If I’ve done a 30-day program and done my best, I’ll ask myself, What can I do to celebrate? It doesn’t have to be huge, expensive, or material. It could simply be giving yourself time to do something you love.
I remember when my kids were growing up, life was frantic—school runs, errands, endless tasks. We convince ourselves there isn’t even time for a break. But those breaks are essential. At work, for example, I go to the staff room every break time. I leave my phone behind and sit down to talk with people. Many colleagues skip breaks altogether, constantly rushing around. But taking that small pause to connect makes a huge difference. Celebrations are the same—they can be as simple as a chat, listening to music, a walk in the woods, or time with your cat—little moments of joy matter.

And then one final one that I’d love to hear you share about is the concept of seasons. I was surprised to see that on your list. What is it about seasons that helps us be happier?

Cathy Shuter: In the UK, we have very distinct seasons, so it’s something I really notice. But even if you live in a place where the climate doesn’t change much, you can still relate if you think about growth cycles. There’s a time for sowing seeds, a time for shoots to emerge, a time for growth and cultivation, and then a time for harvest. And finally, there’s winter.

Winter is the hardest for many of us because society focuses so much on appearances, youth, and external beauty. But real attractiveness isn’t about your face—it’s about how you are. As we get older, if we can embrace the “winter season” of life, we can find a new kind of happiness.

Generations ago, people valued the wisdom of elders. Grandparents weren’t seen as a burden; they were cherished. We need to return to that. Some people embrace every stage of life, but many resist and struggle with it. The truth is, you can’t turn back the clock. But if you can accept where you are and embrace the gifts of your current season, you’ll feel much happier.

I know you’ve touched on the future of Cathy’s Wellbeing Club and its vision for a physical location. But I’d love to hear more. As a leader with a mission, what do you sense your purpose is, and how do you see it unfolding in the years to come?

Cathy Shuter: For me, it begins with working on myself, then helping others work on themselves so they feel strong, resilient, and connected. Because ultimately, we can do so much more together than we ever could on our own.

When I was younger, there were more cafés in town—welcoming, cozy spaces where you’d meet friends, chat with strangers, and feel part of something. I remember sitting in Woolworths café as a teenager after my Saturday job. You’d greet people you didn’t necessarily know, but there was a sense of friendliness and belonging.

That’s the atmosphere I want to create again. A café where people feel comfortable, where conversations happen even with those you may not agree with. By listening and understanding each other, we can take steps closer to a real connection. If we truly understand why people feel the way they do, we can start building communities and spaces that make everyone happier.

Cathy, how can people work with you? If someone is looking to work with you directly or receive encouragement, what would be the best next step?

Cathy Shuter: Facebook is the social media platform I use the most. My coaching is called Trusty Life Coaching, and there I share challenges—right now, for example, one is on surrender and another on gratitude. People can also join Cathy’s Wellbeing Café, our virtual café where members “drop in” and chat. During lockdown, it became a real source of support, a way for people who couldn’t leave home to connect and feel cared for.
Another way to stay connected is Substack. My newsletter, Cathy Shuter’s Newsletter, shares regular updates from the Wellbeing Club. I love Substack because there are no ads, and everything goes straight to your email inbox—though sometimes it ends up in spam, so you do need to check. Both Facebook and Substack are great places to start.

I’d love to hear one last piece of encouragement from you. If someone is listening and they’re feeling a bit low, unhappy today, what advice would you give them?

Cathy Shuter: First of all, accept how you’re feeling. You feel what you feel. Then, as simple as it sounds, try some breathwork. Taking just a few full breaths—especially long exhales—can help ease tension and reduce anxiety, which immediately boosts your sense of well-being. Once you feel a little calmer, you can move into what I call the problem-solving cycle.

Write down what’s bothering you—whether it’s one thing or several—and jot down possible solutions. Don’t overthink it; just brainstorm. Include reaching out to someone you trust or even a helpline if needed. Never be afraid to ask for help—that’s what support is there for. Then, choose one solution that feels right and try it. If it doesn’t help, go back to your list and try another. That process frees your mind and often leads to even more creative ideas.

Another key is recognizing what we can change and what we can’t. If it’s out of our control, the most compassionate thing we can do is let it go, rather than beating ourselves up about it.

As the Serenity Prayer says…“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Cathy Shuter: Exactly. If we can hold onto that, we won’t feel so stuck. Another tool I use is a rating scale. Out of ten, how are you feeling right now? Ten is brilliant, one is terrible. If you’re at an eight and want to be a nine, ask yourself, What one small step could I take right now to move closer to nine? That kind of reflection not only helps you see where you are compared to your usual baseline, but it also shifts your perspective. And when you step up even one rung on the ladder, you see the world differently—and that’s where creativity and new possibilities open up.

Cathy, thank you so much for being with us today. You’re bringing such positivity and encouraging people to cultivate happiness in a very practical way. I really appreciate it.

Cathy Shuter: Thank you so much for interviewing me. It’s been absolutely wonderful, and I’m excited to connect with anyone who feels the same—that together we can create a happier, more creative, and more loving world.