How to Cultivate Resilience When the World is Burning Around You

For me, Spring is a time of new beginnings and new growth. There was a spring season in my life when I was rebuilding my self-identity and self-esteem after prolonged narcissistic abuse, since I had none left after those experiences. I was the opposite of resilient. I look back in awe on that recovery journey – all of the steps I took – and all of the inner landscape that I rebuilt over many years with little to no support.  Thankfully, there is a greater understanding now of how to overcome a lack of resilience due to prolonged or severe trauma, and a great deal more support is available! For me, it had come down to acknowledging that yes, I had been through a lot. I had to recognize that I had lost my self-identity and esteem. I had to maintain the courage to continue the recovery journey that has not only enabled me to recreate myself but has built a core strength of inner peace and persistent hope grounded in having been through the fire already and come out of it much stronger.  I looked around me and saw that others had been on this journey too; I was not alone.

Here is what I have learned and some practical steps to bolster your arsenal of inner strength, even as the world seems to be burning around you.

What is Resilience and How Do I Get Some?

In my case, the abuse was happening to me and created my situation around me.  In cases where things are burning around you but not happening directly to you, the traits of resilience still apply – the nature of having deep resilience is to be able to recognize and manage fear-driven responses, roll with the punches while staying open to solutions, or navigate situations in your life steadfastly anchored in what is most important to you regardless of where the flames are burning.  

When you are resilient, you stay calm and composed during a stressful event, maintain belief in your ability to navigate successfully through it, are open to solutions instead of fixated on the problem, know when to get support for encouragement or guidance, believe that this too shall pass and trust that it will present new opportunities in the changes. Nine keys in our fundamental human design enable deep resilience. Without them functioning optimally, we have limited capacity to roll with the punches, much less thrive on the other side of the situation or event. These traits are not often taught, but they can be learned.

Is there a way to grow your capacity for resilience from your own experiences?  Yes, absolutely. Here’s how.

Recognize and Acknowledge Where You are Now    

First, determine if “all this” is happening to you or around you.  If it is happening around you but not directly impacting you then the first step is to manage your fear responses.  Fear constricts our ability to see beyond the perceived imminent danger.  Having the ability to see things the way they are – instead of painting an apocalyptic landscape around it – allows us to become more open to alternatives. This openness is where resilience lives. 

If it is happening to you, the following gauge may help point you to where to focus on bolstering your own core of strength and inner peace so that not only can you navigate the situation in Grace but can also thrive on the other side of it.

Instructions:

For each statement below, rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 5, where:
1 = Strongly Disagree
2 = Disagree
3 = Neutral
4 = Agree
5 = Strongly Agree

Emotional Recognition

1. I can identify when I am feeling fearful or overwhelmed by negative thoughts.
2. I am aware of how my body reacts to feelings of helplessness and fear.
3. I notice when I start engaging in catastrophic or all-or-nothing thinking.
4. I can recognize when I am blaming myself or others for my emotional pain.
5. I am aware of how past traumatic experiences influence my current emotional state.

Emotional Acceptance

1. I allow myself to feel fear and sadness without judgment.
2. I can sit with uncomfortable emotions without shutting down or numbing myself.
3. I acknowledge that my emotional responses are valid and part of my healing process.
4. I practice self-compassion when I feel stuck in a victim mindset.
5. I accept that emotional healing takes time and effort.

Emotional Reflection and Growth

1. I reflect on my emotional triggers and the root causes of my fear and hopelessness.
2. I am aware of negative thought patterns and work to reframe them.
3. I actively seek to understand how my trauma affects my current behavior and decisions.
4. I can find moments of strength and resilience, even in difficult times.
5. I am committed to developing healthier emotional coping strategies.

Scoring Guide:

• 45-60 points: High self-awareness and acceptance. You are effectively navigating your emotions and gradually shifting away from a victim or apocalyptic mindset.
• 30-44 points: Moderate self-awareness. You’re making progress, but may benefit from deeper emotional reflection and support.
• 15-29 points: Low self-awareness. Building mindfulness and practicing self-compassion can help reduce fear-based thinking.
• Below 15 points: Minimal self-awareness. Consider seeking support and further guidance.

Take Inspired Action to Increase Your Resilience 

The heart of resilience is based on faith – faith in yourself and your ability to not only get through it but also thrive on the other side.  It is based on the belief that you do deserve better and can receive it when it arrives. It is based on the faith that All is Well, even when it looks like everything is burning around you. You can be in the world but not entangled in its drama. You can stay anchored in what is most important to you, not driven by fear.

Here are some empowering actions you can take to cultivate resilience as an ongoing State of Being:

• Recognize that you are not powerless in this situation.   Acknowledge how you are feeling and reacting to it all.  Make an empowered shift by asking yourself, “What would I want instead?  What steps can I take to get it?”
• Stop doomscrolling online and in your mind. You will find what you are looking for – more doom and gloom!  Try looking for the blessing or the opportunity instead of holding an apocalyptic mindset.  Ask yourself, “What else is possible? What else might be true? What other solutions have I not yet considered?”  What you focus on grows, and then it becomes your reality. Be sure to stay focused on what you DO want and what you CAN control or influence.  Do not let fear steal the wheel and drive your life!
• Using the scale above, identify areas where you need additional support to shift out of negativity and into possibility. Forgive yourself for any perceived lacking and take some positive steps forward to install the traits you DO want to be experiencing.  What mental habits need to be repatterned? What mindset shifts do you need to make?  Small, consistent steps toward self-awareness can lead to significant emotional growth.
• Release the limiting beliefs and emotions behind your fears or lack of confidence in yourself and your ability to thrive instead of just survive. What could your life look like on the other side of this situation?  Ask your Spirit Team to bring you “this or something better!”
• Ask your Spirit Team to support you and ask them, “Please show me what thriving can look and feel like for me.”   We are not meant to be on this journey alone.  Get support to guide or encourage your new growth.

Let it Burn, Enjoy the Flames

We tend to spend a great deal of emotional and mental energy “raging at the machine” and making ourselves feel powerless in addressing whatever it is that has gotten us so worked up.  Instead of raging, what if we stepped into our power instead?  What if we built up our resilience and could remain in peace despite turbulence and challenge?  So when the world is burning around you and things look bleak, you will know in the very core of your Being that this too shall pass and I’ve got this.  You will know that with the support, encouragement, and deep resilience you are cultivating, you will come out the other side minimally scorched and with all the wisdom and blessings available to you at that time.  You will be better able to “bounce forward” and can focus on and grow those blessings to have more reasons to be grateful in your life!

TAKE ACTION: Go deeper! Find out other ways to raise your vibration into peace and joy