It’s Never About Them – It’s About You

This message holds the power of transformation. Not only will you read it, but you may deeply feel it too. It has the potential to create a shift in your perception.

A month or two ago, I received an email from someone who gently threatened me. The sender was upset because they hadn’t received a recording of a session—most likely it had slipped into their spam folder or disappeared into cyberspace... They were upset and voiced their concerns.

Their words were a little sharp, yet I could still sense their soul beneath the frustration.

Instead of reacting defensively to their message, I paused and turned the focus inwards. This isn’t about them, this is about me. Is there a part of me that’s threatening myself right now?

Everyone and everything outside of us is a reflection of ourselves. When another triggers us, it is often due to a belief that we hold in our own system. The other is a mirror reminding us to maintain awareness of our inner world, which consists of our own thoughts and feelings. 

I consciously chose to use this situation as an opportunity to untangle a pattern within. 

The Internal Bully of the Conditioned Mind

The mirror revealed something I had been carrying for a long time: the internal bully of my conditioned mind. This voice demanded perfection at all costs. It insisted I respond instantly, deliver flawlessly, and never let the ball drop. On one level, this drive has been useful because I offer deep, structured courses and sessions, and my attentiveness ensures quality. But on another level, it was causing stress..

That inner voice was controlling: Answer emails right away. Finish tasks immediately. Be fast, be perfect, don’t slow down.

And yes, it was working—at least on the outside. Just that week, I had been complimented by podcasters, editors, and even a radio host for my speed and reliability. Their praise felt good, but my nervous system was buckling under the pressure inside. I became sick for the second time in a month, which is highly unusual for me. My body was speaking loudly: something needs to change.

Shifting Perspective 

So when I received that frustrated email, I made sure to go deep inside of myself and clear out the pattern that was creating this situation. 

I softened and let go of the perfectionist’s grip, and something remarkable happened. I felt warmth, kindness, and ease flow back into my mind. My inner voice became gentler, and soon the people around me mirrored that same kindness.

That’s the magic of self-awareness: it’s never really about the other person. It’s always about Player Number One in your world—it’s about you.

You Are the Main Character

Here’s the deeper truth: you are the main character in your life. The outside world is simply reflecting your vibration back to you. When you shift within, your reality shifts without.

Isn’t that incredible? It means that you are the creator of your own reality.

A simple mantra I use to anchor this truth is:
“This is my life.”

Each time you say it—silently or out loud—it draws your soul back into the present moment and gently empowers you.

A Simple Practice for You

Next time you feel triggered or pressured, try this:

1. Take three deep breaths in and out of your belly.
2. Then ask yourself: “What part of me is being mirrored back to me? What can I learn here?”
3. Say the mantra: “This is my life.” And feel the light of your soul enter the present moment—feel empowered.
4. Notice how your body responds and what softens within. 

We don’t need to be perfect. We only need to be awake enough to notice the internal patterns, brave enough to release them, and kind enough to let love return to the center of our lives.

TAKE ACTION: Learn how to release your own patterns in life with tools & support. Receive many free resources and videos from Natalie’s YouTube channel.