Pointlessly Slamming into a Window? What a Wild Bird Taught Me About Narcissism

For five weeks now, a wild bird has been frantically slamming into my window. He does this all day long, ignoring the bowls of bird seed laid out for him and the three bird condos he could be contentedly lounging in.

Google says birds see their own reflection and get confused. And that some are known to do this when they want to mate. Seems like a bizarre way to entice a female (sorry, my sexism showed by assuming it’s a male bird), and so far, it hasn’t succeeded.

This bird’s obsession with an ultimate concussion swerved my thoughts to the times we are living in. News reports (or just scanning headlines when I can’t bear to read further) compare what’s going on to fascism, and there’s the ever-expanding “No Kings” nationwide protests every week.

These labels given to various political characters are reasonable substitutes that describe ‘narcissists.’

What Are Narcissists?

There’s a lot of hype about the term narcissism lately. It’s one of those psycho-babble words that has made it into mainstream consciousness.

But narcissism is a bit more complex than labeling people as self-centered, unable to feel empathy, and prone to taking cruel actions.

Plus, even if it may seem that a pandemic of narcissism is taking over the world, believe it or not, there are not that many running around.

But the ones who are, especially those in powerful positions, can be very destructive.

Here’s a deeper understanding of narcissism: Narcissists subconsciously believe they must not allow others to be (who they are), do (what they need to do), or have (what they want in life) because they believe it directly threatens them in some way.

This belief becomes their justification to think only of themselves. They try to control others by manipulating, suppressing, scamming and disempowering, using any means necessary.

The biggest clue to earning a narcissistic classification is that they feel absolutely no remorse or guilt for what they do. None. Zilch.

Why? Because they believe they are justified. Really.

But Narcissism Goes Deeper

Before the age of three, there was a time you chose to cause pain or loss of some kind. Since who you really are is a higher consciousness, all-love being, you make decisions about yourself. Such as: “I’m bad, dangerous, can’t be trusted, and undeserving because I blew it and caused pain and loss.”

This is a pivotal moment for you, as one of your Big Goals as a physical being is to be the loving person you truly are, all the time.

The decisions you made became how you perceive yourself and life.

However, in order to “protect you” and others, your primitive, survival-based consciousness suppresses and forgets that incident as well as the decisions you made, especially about yourself.

As I keep reminding everyone, nothing can ever be suppressed. That memory is logged inside, and comes out in a variety of ways, especially in the choices you make.

We’ve all done things like that, but narcissists take that formula even further. They have a pile of suppressed incidents when they caused pain or loss, but are completely unwilling to remember them or take responsibility for their choices. There is no tipping point when they will remember and take responsibility.

What happens is they function from subconscious, denied fear toward themselves.

They deal with those fears by controlling, suppressing, destroying, and invalidating others. In other words, their absolute denial and covered up fear of themselves turns into their “justified” control of others to assure their own “survival.”

All of these choices are based on how terrified they are of themselves. They believe looking strong, powerful, and invincible will keep them safe from anyone discovering this about them.

Since they refuse to remember or admit what they’ve done, helping them step out of narcissism is beyond challenging. A few landed in my Perfect Life Awakening program but spent the entire time not letting any of it in. Mostly, they used the information to suppress others even more.

Yep, It’s Us

Since our primary goal in life is survival, we all have narcissistic qualities. The minute we feel fear, our “survival consciousness” believes the only cure is to cause pain and loss to protect us. The difference is that most of us eventually remember what we’ve done, feel guilty, and want to clean it up in some way.

However, narcissists are so locked in, they won’t allow themselves to remember. If they do, they justify their actions, blame others, and have no desire to clean anything up. Their attitude is: Why clean up something you don’t feel guilty about?

Keep in mind, narcissists have chosen this life to be a perfect magnification mirror for all of us. They are perfect teachers to help us wake up, remember, and clean up what we’ve done. The stronger we get triggered by what “they” are doing, the bigger the mirror being presented to us to wake from our own denial rather than feeling like victims.

What to Do?

When you find yourself getting triggered by a narcissist, see what’s being reflected to you about yourself. They could be showing you an extreme version of things you do, or perhaps what you’ve done in the past.

Then, take action. Do something to clean up what you’ve done, or even a symbolic action of some kind. Apologize. Give. Assist. Do what feels right.

Doing those two steps will help you to remember who you really are: a powerful and deserving person who is committed to being who you really are: Love.

Remember: On a planetary level, we have all chosen to be here during these challenging times to help wake us up in huge ways. Gratefully, narcissists are doing their jobs exceedingly well so we can finally get our power back once and for all.

I think my head-slamming bird friend is reminding us we don’t have to continue pointlessly crashing into windows. He’s letting us know it’s time to settle into our comfy birdhouse, snuggle with our mates, and sit quietly keeping our eggs warm!

Okay, crazy bird, thank you for that perfect message! I’m going to put some decals on my window now and hope they work!

TAKE ACTION: To get to the origins of why you are attracting narcissists in your life, reach out to Royce. The deep inner work she performs helps neutralize the sources of your subconscious need to be a narcissist.