Remember Who You Are: From Marine Corps Conditioning to Emotional and Nervous System Mastery – An Interview with Sonya Achara

What if the toughest training ground you ever faced wasn’t boot camp—but your own mind?

Most of us have felt stuck in patterns we can’t explain—reacting in ways we don’t understand, chasing connections we can’t quite hold onto, pushing ourselves to prove something we were never sure of in the first place.

In this conversation, Sonya Achara speaks openly about growing up in an emotionally neglectful home, spending 14 years in survival mode, and the single meditation experience that cracked her wide open and changed everything. But beneath the spiritual awakening is a very human story of a woman who simply refused to keep leading—and living—from a place of fear.

Today, Sonya is a quantum embodiment guide, nervous system coach, and author of Remember Who You Are—helping people break free from survival patterns, heal their attachment wounds, and step into the life they were always meant to live.

Whether you are a skeptic or a seeker, this conversation will make you think differently about why you do the things you do, how your childhood is still shaping your relationships today, and what becomes possible when you finally stop surviving and start remembering who you truly are.

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One part of your story is that you invested 14 years of your life in the Marines. I’m so curious about that experience—and how it impacted and transformed you. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Sonya Achara: Yeah, so 14 years in the Marine Corps was definitely interesting. It actually wasn’t that hard for me, because I had a rough childhood. I experienced emotional neglect and different forms of abuse, but I didn’t even realize it was abuse at the time. Once I went to boot camp and entered the Marine Corps, I remember thinking, “Oh… this isn’t that bad.”

One thing I did notice, though, was the environment. It was very fear-based—getting people to do what you tell them to do, a lot of people talking down to others—and it just didn’t feel right to me. So I started shifting the way I led, especially when I was on recruiting duty. You can’t force people to join, so I had to really look at my leadership and decide what kind of leader I wanted to be.

I took on many different roles in the Marine Corps. I became a martial arts instructor and an expert shooter, and served as a coach on the shooting team for a while. I did recruiting and was also a Force Fitness instructor-trainer. I did all of that because I felt like I constantly had to prove myself—especially being a woman in the Marine Corps. Looking back, I didn’t realize how much I had gotten used to living in survival mode.

When you came out of the Marines, what was the state of your nervous system, your mindset, your physical health—what was happening?

Sonya Achara: Honestly, in my last couple of years in the Marine Corps, I feel like I had already started to deprogram myself from the military. That really began when I got pregnant with my son. It completely shifted my perspective.

I saw how women were treated in the Marine Corps, especially when they got pregnant—and I experienced that firsthand. I was treated pretty poorly during my pregnancy, and that really opened my eyes.

What did that look like?

Sonya Achara: I know it differs depending on the command and leadership, but in my case, I was an instructor at the time. I was teaching Force Fitness and had worked my way up to a lead instructor/chief instructor position.

After I got pregnant, they found ways to remove me from that role. It felt like they were intentionally trying to push me out—finding reasons to take me out of the position and create a situation where I didn’t belong there anymore.

Unfortunately, a pregnancy is often seen in many workplaces as an inconvenience for others involved. What a challenging experience for someone bringing a beautiful life into the world.

Sonya Achara: Yeah, definitely. That’s really where I had to come to terms with things. I realized, “I don’t want this life for my son.” I didn’t want to feel like I had to choose between being a good Marine and being a good mother.

So you’re out of the Marines, it’s January 2025, and something is happening in your life—you’re going through a struggle. You step into a quantum healing experience. Am I getting that right?

Sonya Achara: Yeah. So when I got out of the military, I was actually leaving two toxic environments at the same time—a toxic command and a toxic relationship. I left my son’s father, packed up, and drove to California with my son. He was only 11 months old.

I just knew I needed to get out. I felt like I was trying to find myself again, because I had completely lost myself in that relationship. It became this journey of rediscovery.

Thankfully, I was able to receive 100% disability, so I had some stability. I stayed with a friend and gave myself space to rebuild. And during that time, I feel like I was led to Joe Dispenza’s YouTube video.

Something about it clicked. I felt like I needed to write everything down. It was a full routine—a morning meditation, a movement meditation for the afternoon, a nighttime meditation, and breathwork. I had listened to Joe Dispenza since COVID and loved his work, but I didn’t fully understand it until I actually started doing it.

I don’t think anybody fully understands Joe Dispenza’s work.

Sonya Achara: Yeah, exactly. But I just went all in. I had never done anything like that before, but I committed to the whole process.

I’ve always been pretty intense, so even with the movement meditation, I made it my own. I would do sprints up this hill and combine that with the meditation. I just fully immersed myself in it.

And were you into fitness at the time—like a fitness model or bodybuilder? How did that play into this season of your life?

Sonya Achara: While I was in the military, I was very high-performance. I did bodybuilding for 6 years and was a coach for 3 of those years. At one point, I looked amazing—my body looked incredible—but I didn’t realize that so much of that was actually driven by a need to prove my worth.

I’ve always been athletic. I also ran track for San Diego State University, so movement has always been a big part of my life. Sprints, especially, have always been one of my go-to workouts.

So when I started this meditation practice, I incorporated that. But what happened during that time was something much deeper—it became a transcendental experience. There were no drugs involved, no mushrooms or anything like that. It was completely natural, but I found myself in a state of euphoria.

I felt what I can only describe as unconditional love from Source—something I had never experienced before, and honestly haven’t experienced in quite the same way since. After that, I started having visions. I was seeing things from a higher perspective.

For about two months, I felt like I was on a spiritual high. Time didn’t feel the same. I was able to do everything I needed to do—take care of my son, create, and move through life with clarity. I even wrote a book in a month. It felt like I was getting a glimpse of what life could be like when I’m fully embodied.

As you were going through that experience—the meditations, breathwork, workouts—were you sharing it with family and friends, or mostly keeping it to yourself?

Sonya Achara: At first, I kept it to myself. I was just observing what was happening. I started getting what felt like downloads—ideas for speeches, insights, things I wanted to share.

Even back in the Marine Corps, I used to give motivational talks because I wanted to inspire the Marines around me. I had always followed people like Tony Robbins and was really focused on mindset—how to stay positive no matter what you’re going through.

After a while, I did start sharing what I was experiencing, but the people around me at the time thought I was a little crazy.

That’s not uncommon.

Sonya Achara: Yeah, but after that initial experience, I kept being led to more and more things. It was like a doorway opened, and I started to see a completely different side of life—what I would call the awakened lifestyle. That’s really what unfolded from there.

I’m curious about a question you’ve been fascinated by—both in the Marines and even now: why do people behave the way they do? What drew you to that question?

Sonya Achara: For a long time, I wondered that because I had experienced so much violence in my life. And in the Marine Corps, we were constantly trained to be aware of it—to defend ourselves if needed.

As a woman, I felt like I had to be especially prepared. That’s part of why I became a martial arts instructor and immersed myself in that world.

But eventually, that question turned inward. It became less about other people and more about myself—why do I do the things that I do? I had to start understanding myself on a much deeper level than I ever had before.

And what did you begin to discover when you asked yourself that question? What reflections came up?

Sonya Achara: A lot of it came after I left that relationship a couple of years ago. I realized I hadn’t healed many of the wounds connected to my mother.

And this isn’t about blame—I’m way past that now. I understand that people can only give what they’ve learned. Hurt people hurt people.

But it made me see how much of my behavior, my patterns, and even the choices I made were rooted in things I hadn’t fully processed or healed.

You’ve had so much leadership experience in the Marines, and I’m hearing that in the last couple of years, you’ve been deprogramming yourself—shifting from a fear-based leadership style into something else. How would you describe that shift? From fear to what?

Sonya Achara: I would say it shifted from fear-based leadership to heart-based leadership.

It never felt right to treat people the way I had been treated in certain commands. Even though I experienced that environment, I didn’t want to pass it on. So I became more vulnerable with the people I was leading.

This shift actually started while I was still in the Marine Corps. I focused on leading by example—being right there with them, not above them. I saw many leaders who operated from a “do as I say, not as I do” mindset, and that just didn’t resonate with me. I wanted to be the kind of leader who was present, supportive, and human.

As you came out of the Marine Corps and began having these awakening experiences, what shifted inside of you that made you want to help others have similar healing experiences? What led to that decision?

Sonya Achara: It really came from what happened after that initial experience. I started to clearly hear the difference between my higher self and my ego.

It was so distinct—because I had never heard that kind of loving, compassionate voice inside my own mind before. That was the beginning of my self-rewiring.

What I realized is that you can understand something intellectually—I had studied psychology for years, so I knew about the conscious and subconscious mind—but embodying it is completely different. That’s a whole other level.

I had to go through a deep process of uncovering my subconscious patterns. I had to look at what was rooted in my childhood and actually integrate it into my nervous system—not just understand it, but live it.

You’ve spoken about making nervous system literacy practical and accessible. What does that actually mean?

Sonya Achara: For me, it means teaching it in a way people can actually understand—because I didn’t understand it at first either.

Everything started to click when I began learning about different nervous system responses. I realized I had been experiencing many of them, but I had been identifying with them—as if they were my personality or who I was.

But they’re not. They’re protective responses. They’re patterns the body develops to keep us safe, often rooted in childhood.

And while everyone’s experience is unique, there are overarching patterns that many people share. Once you start to see that, it changes how you relate to yourself completely.

Those responses are often categorized as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. We’ve heard these terms used to describe how the body responds to survival. Could you briefly walk us through each one—what they are and how they might show up in our lives?

Sonya Achara: I think most people assume those responses only happen in extreme situations—like if you’re running from a bear. But the truth is, most people are living in these responses every day.

They show up in our relationships, especially when connection feels threatened. Because at our core, love and connection are our baseline—we need them to survive. Our nervous system is wired for that. And when that connection feels unstable or unsafe, these responses activate.

For many of us, these patterns developed early on, when connections in our environment felt uncertain. So now, even in everyday life, our bodies react as if we’re in survival mode.

What does a fight response look like? How would I know I’m experiencing that?

Sonya Achara: A fight response can show up as being very argumentative, easily irritated, or quick to anger—especially in relationships.

There’s usually a strong physical activation in the body. You might feel heat rising in your face, tension in your chest, or a tightness in your stomach. It’s not just mental—it’s a full-body response.

And what about flight—how does that play out?

Sonya Achara: Flight can look like constantly needing to stay busy—overworking, staying in motion, or distracting yourself to avoid something deeper.

It can also show up as shutting down when the connection feels threatened, or avoiding difficult conversations altogether. Sometimes it’s literally leaving—walking away from a situation or relationship to escape the discomfort.

There are actually many variations within each response—I’ve created lists of them—but these are among the most common ways it shows up.

What about freeze—what does that look like?

Sonya Achara: A freeze response is when you feel stuck—like you can’t respond in the moment. It’s almost like a shutdown. You’re there, but you’re not able to act, speak, or move forward.

Stuck, yeah. And what about fawn? That’s a newer one—it used to just be fight, flight, freeze. What does a fawn look like?

Sonya Achara: Fawn is more like people-pleasing. It’s when you go along with others to maintain a connection.

That was something I did for most of my life, and I didn’t even realize it. Especially with people close to me, I would just go with the flow—thinking, “As long as we’re together, that’s all that matters.” But I wasn’t really honoring myself in that. A lot of that comes from childhood patterns.

So what I’m hearing is that these are all responses to real or perceived disconnection—especially in relationships. How do you now help your clients navigate these patterns and respond differently?

Sonya Achara: The first thing I do is listen to their stories, their patterns, how they’re showing up. Because once you’ve seen these responses in yourself, you can recognize them in others.

Awareness is the first step. Once someone can see what’s actually happening in their nervous system, we can begin to shift it.

And for me, it’s not about fixing people or seeing them as broken. It’s about holding space for them—so they can rise into something different on their own.

You describe yourself as a “quantum embodiment guide.” What does that mean?

Sonya Achara: For me, it means that when you regulate your nervous system, you’re able to access what I call the quantum field, which is where infinite intelligence exists.

When we’re in survival mode, we’re essentially blocked. We’re cut off from receiving clarity, guidance, and even a sense of what we’re here to do.

But when I came out of that survival state and into regulation, everything shifted. I started receiving what felt like downloads—ideas, insights, a kind of knowing. I would think or say things without knowing exactly where they came from, but they felt true.

So quantum embodiment is really about regulating your nervous system enough to access that deeper intelligence—and then actually embodying it in your life.

As part of that, you named your business Remember Who You Are 222. Why was that name so important to you?

Sonya Achara: For me, it felt like a remembrance—like I was reconnecting with something that had been lost.

It’s about remembering who you were before all the conditioning, before all the survival mechanisms took over. And the “222” came from a sense of alignment. That number has followed me for a long time, and it became a symbol of being in alignment—even during times when I didn’t feel like I was. Looking back, I can see that I always was.

One of the things you help people with is nervous system regulation—becoming aware of how they respond so they can choose differently. But you also work with attachment styles. For those who aren’t familiar, what are they, and how can they help us build better relationships?

Sonya Achara: Attachment styles come from attachment theory, and they describe how we relate to others in relationships.

The healthiest one is secure attachment. That’s when you’re able to be close to someone—have intimacy and connection—but also maintain your own sense of self and autonomy.

Most people don’t start there, though. They tend to fall into one of the other styles. There are anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles, with disorganized attachment being a mix of the two.

I personally used to have an anxious attachment style.

Me too. I still do in some ways—that’s definitely been my default.

Sonya Achara: Yeah, and that’s the thing—it takes work, but it’s possible to shift. I’ve been able to rewire myself from an anxious attachment style into something much closer to secure attachment.

Tell us about anxious attachment. What does it actually look like to have that pattern?

Sonya Achara: Anxious attachment is really rooted in a deep fear of abandonment. It’s this underlying anxiety around losing people or losing connection.

For me, it showed up as not wanting to make anyone mad—because I believed that if I did, I would lose them. That fear came from childhood. I was often making my mom upset, and I didn’t feel like I received the love I needed. So I learned to adapt in a way that tried to preserve connection at all costs.

It creates a constant sense of tension—like you’re trying to hold on to people, afraid they might leave. But what’s interesting is that after I left the Marine Corps and that last relationship, that pattern started to dissolve. I no longer had that same fear of losing people.

I even began speaking my truth more openly, and yes—I lost a couple of friendships because of that. But it didn’t feel the same anymore. It didn’t feel like I was losing myself in the process.

So we have secure attachment, anxious attachment… what about avoidant attachment?

Sonya Achara: Avoidant attachment is almost the opposite of anxious. Instead of grasping for connection, you avoid it.

There’s still a fear of losing connection underneath it—but instead of leaning in, you pull away. You avoid vulnerability, avoid conversations, and avoid closeness. It’s a way of protecting yourself from the risk of getting hurt.

And it seems like people with anxious attachment are often drawn to people with avoidant attachment, which creates a challenging dynamic. One becomes more clingy, the other pulls away.

Sonya Achara: Yeah, that’s very true.

And what about disorganized attachment?

Sonya Achara: Disorganized attachment is more of a mix—you go back and forth between anxious and avoidant patterns.

I’ve seen people shift between the two, but I think most lean more toward either anxious or avoidant.

What does secure attachment actually look like in real life—in relationships with partners, children, friends?

Sonya Achara: I love that question, because I really had to learn this through co-parenting with my son.

He goes to see his dad every other weekend and during holidays. At first, I had a lot of fear around that—fear that he might not be safe. And I realized that the fear came from my own childhood.

So I had to sit with it. Every time it came up, I felt it in my body—like a tightness or pain in my stomach. And instead of pushing it away, I stayed with it. I practiced compassion with myself, without judgment.

Over time, something shifted. I no longer feel that same fear. I trust that his father will take care of him. And I’m able to actually enjoy that time—to rest, to have space—so I can show up as a better mother when he comes back.

That’s what secure attachment looks like. There’s trust. There’s space. There’s no constant fear running underneath everything.

I’ve also seen this shift in my dating life. I went through a phase where I was intentionally dating to learn about myself. I started noticing the patterns I used to bring into relationships—the ways I would sabotage things—and I made different choices each time.

Now I’m at a place where I don’t feel a need to chase or force anything. I’m just allowing life to unfold.

Feeling secure in yourself. Remembering who you are.

Sonya Achara: Exactly.

You wrote a book titled Remember Who You Are: My Journey to Higher Consciousness. Who would benefit from reading it, and what can they expect?

Sonya Achara: This book is really my memoir—the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life.

I think anyone who’s been through a lot and is looking for a way to see a more positive perspective through those experiences could really benefit from it. That’s what the book is about—finding meaning and growth in every stage.

Honestly, writing it was very healing for me. So, anyone it resonates with, I think, it can support them in their own process too.

Tell me about how people can work with you. What are the ways you serve your clients—through courses, coaching?

Sonya Achara: I have a few different courses, and everything is linked through my main hub—my AllMyLinks page.

That’s where you’ll find everything—my podcast, my social media: Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, and all of my offerings.

I also have a main page with my courses, and from there, people can book a discovery call with me and explore working together in one of my coaching containers.

So you work with people both one-on-one and in groups?

Sonya Achara: Yes, I offer both one-on-one sessions and group sessions.

I also have a Secure Attachment Blueprint masterclass. Some people start there and then decide to work with me more closely afterward, and some don’t—it really depends. There’s no pressure either way.

And your website?

Sonya Achara: I also have SonyaAchara.com, which links to my book and my podcast.

If someone is feeling lost right now—lost in life, in a relationship, in their work—and they don’t know who they are, what’s a practical first step they can take?

Sonya Achara: The first step is actually recognizing that you feel lost—that awareness is important.

From there, it’s about starting to get to know yourself. And for me, one of the most powerful tools is journaling—asking yourself real questions. Because if you don’t ask, you’re never going to get the answers.

Once you start asking, the answers begin to come. And they lead you deeper and deeper into understanding yourself.

Another big practice for me has been speaking out loud to myself. There’s something about using your voice—the vibration of it in your body—that’s very different from just thinking your thoughts. That alone has made a huge difference for me.

Sonya, thank you for your service to our country, and for the work you’re doing now to support people through nervous system regulation and healing. It’s been great having you here.

Sonya Achara: Thank you. It was really great to be here. I truly feel like this is part of my purpose—to help raise consciousness and support others on their path.