Soul Work With God: A Story of Death, Rebirth, and Peace – An Interview with Valerie Vidal

How does a woman who lost her mother at two, grew up in foster care, and died giving birth to her child find her way back to light, love, and purpose?

Valerie Vidal’s journey has been one of courage, rediscovery, and divine alignment. From a near-death experience during childbirth to years of panic attacks, depression, and the relentless drive to “escape the statistics,” she has walked through darkness only to find profound healing on the other side.

Through plant medicine, deep self-study, and a direct encounter with the presence of God, she learned that healing begins the moment we remember who we truly are—spiritual beings having a human experience. Now a consciousness educator and creator of Soul Work with God, Valerie helps others turn pain into purpose and reconnect with the unseen forces guiding their path.

In this conversation, she shares how surrendering to faith transformed her darkest moments, what her near-death experience revealed about peace beyond this world, and why listening to your soul’s compass can lead you out of the shadows and into the light. Continue reading or listen in by subscribing for free on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or YouTube to discover how Valerie Vidal’s story reminds us that we are never truly alone.

Your chapter in Awakened Hearts is so powerful, and it begins on February 7th, 2001. What happened on that day?

Valerie Vidal: Apparently, two very important things happened that day. I was scheduled to have a C-section that morning and bring my baby girl into the world. I had been working endlessly on her room—I was swollen, exhausted, and in that strange, final stage of pregnancy you can probably imagine.

While I was in the operating room… I died.

As soon as they took my baby out, I remember checking her fingers—counting them—and thinking, Oh my God, the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. And right then and there, I just… left the building.

You passed out? You went completely out?

Valerie Vidal: Completely. I left the building.

Did they try to resuscitate you, or was your body still alive but you were consciously out of it?

Valerie Vidal: I don’t think I was consciously out of body—I believe I completely ceased to exist, as I call it. They closed me up. They didn’t do anything except take my baby out and try to push the placenta. Afterward, when I was finally able to wake up, they told me they were terrified. I had bled out—essentially died—and they had sewn me back in without the placenta coming out.

How did they bring you back? Or maybe I should ask—what did you experience while you were out of body?

Valerie Vidal: I experienced the most beautiful thing imaginable. People talk about near-death experiences, but this was beyond anything I could have conceived. It was the most magical, radiant experience any human can have.

For 25 years, I didn’t even realize that’s what had happened to me—that I’d had a near-death experience. But I remember everything so clearly. I was in the brightest light you can imagine—white turning to gold, like glittering radiance everywhere. It was pure magic, pure beauty. I was with our Source—our Creator.

Do you remember having a conversation, messages, or a life review? Or was it just light?

Valerie Vidal: I remember feeling peace for the first time in my life—at 21 years old, I felt completely at peace. There were no words, but the feeling was like being completely held, as if I had been taken home. It was the most profound peace I’ve ever known. For the first time in 21 years, I felt cared for.

You were experiencing this profound peace—something you hadn’t known before. Tell us a little about your upbringing, where you were born, and the circumstances that led you to that moment in 2001.

Valerie and her Mom.

Valerie Vidal: I was born in New York, Manhattan, and both of my parents, unfortunately, struggled deeply. Looking back, I see them as products of trauma and society. They were both alcoholics and drug addicts. That kind of inner war always finds a way to show up in your outer world.

By the age of two, I lost my mother to an overdose on her 27th birthday. After her death, my father completely fell apart. He carried a lifelong guilt because he had been with her when she took that last dose. He was also a Vietnam veteran, which only compounded his pain. It was like living beside a bomb just waiting to go off.

Those were my first two years of life. From there, I bounced from one home to another—relatives in Puerto Rico, then back to New York—because my father, though a deeply wounded man, loved children. He wanted to be with us, but life made that very difficult for him. Eventually, the violence and chaos led to us being placed in foster care. I stayed there for about seven years.

You said “us.” Did you have siblings with you?

Valerie Vidal: Yes. My baby sister was able to come with me to Puerto Rico at the end, but I also had two older brothers and a sister.

What happened around age eight that finally brought you some stability? Was it a particular foster family?

Valerie Vidal: My grandmother fought for custody of me and my sister—and against all odds, she won. We made it safely to Puerto Rico, and from that point on, my father was no longer allowed to come and take us back. He’d had legal custody for a long time, which is why I kept bouncing between Puerto Rico and New York. That finally ended when my grandmother took us in.

All of that—losing your mom, the instability, your father’s struggles—how did those experiences affect you as you grew older, through high school and beyond?

Valerie Vidal: It’s interesting because during those early school years—such critical years for development—I didn’t display the typical behavior you might expect from a child who’s lived through trauma. Instead of acting out, I went quiet. I became very observant, inward, always watching.

I remember one teacher calling me an indigo kid.

Who called you that?

Valerie Vidal: My teacher.

And did you know what that meant at the time?

Valerie Vidal: I had no idea.

How would you interpret being called an “indigo kid” now? What do you think they saw in you?

Valerie Vidal: As I grew older and began studying psychology, I realized that what people once called indigo or gifted children often overlaps with what we now recognize as neurodivergence—autism, ADHD, and similar spectrums. There’s a label for everything, but at the end of the day, some of us just process the world differently. Our brains are wired in unique ways.

For me, life appeared in patterns. I was a bright child—consistently earning A’s and B’s. By sixth grade, I was enrolled in a pilot program and advanced to the next grade level. I graduated from high school at the age of sixteen.

Your outward behavior didn’t reflect the trauma you’d been through. When did you begin to see the effects of those experiences surface more clearly?

Valerie Vidal: I remember the exact moment. Around age twelve or thirteen, I discovered my mother’s death certificate for the first time. Until then, I genuinely believed she was alive. No one had ever shown me a photo of her or her grave. Family members told me she had died in her sleep, but I didn’t believe them—I thought she was somewhere waiting for me.

When I finally saw that death certificate, that illusion collapsed. I learned she had died from an overdose, not peacefully in her sleep. I was furious. Suddenly, everyone I trusted felt like a liar. My entire inner world turned to chaos. That was when the anger began.

You graduated at sixteen. Where did life take you from there?

Valerie Vidal: I had my first child at seventeen—actually, it’s his birthday today; he just turned twenty-eight!

After my near-death experience a few years later, something profound awakened in me. At twenty-one, I began to question everything—life, purpose, existence. I was in pain but couldn’t identify why. The pain was invisible, yet emotional and spiritual. That’s what led me to study psychology. I wanted to understand human behavior because people’s actions rarely matched their words. It was confusing, and I thought, There has to be a book that can explain this madness.

At twenty-six, you experienced a breakdown. What were the circumstances surrounding that, and how did it affect your life?

Valerie Vidal: Right before that happened, I was working three jobs—a full-time job, a part-time job, and a weekend job. I was also in school full-time, taking twelve to fifteen credits at night. I had two children, a husband, a house… but I’m not sure I could say I had a life outside of all that. I was constantly on the go—driven, pushing, surviving. I was on a mission.

You were working three jobs, studying full-time, raising two children—you were constantly on the move. Why? What was driving you at that stage of your life?

Valerie Vidal: During my first year of college, at twenty-one, I came across a set of statistical data that changed everything. You remember how I said my brain works in patterns? Well, I understood those statistics instantly. And what I saw was a chart listing all the risk factors I had—childhood trauma, parental addiction, loss, instability—and the outcomes they typically led to.

According to that chart, my life was supposed to turn out a certain way—addiction, poverty, maybe even an early death. And I remember thinking, No. That’s not where I’m going.

So I strategized. What do I need to do to move from A to B, from B to C, and then to D, E, and F? It became a formula. I was very robotic—focused on goals, structure, survival. I didn’t party, didn’t drink. I didn’t even have my first drink until I was twenty-seven. I was determined to stay out of the statistics. I was not going to be them.

You would be safe. You would be an achiever. You would be…

Valerie Vidal: Out of poverty. Out of that statistical destiny. I was determined to rewrite the outcome.

So at twenty-six, what happened? In the middle of all that achievement and drive, what brought things to a head?

Valerie Vidal: I developed a deep, irrational fear of dying at the same age my mother did—twenty-seven. After discovering her death certificate and hearing people constantly say, You look just like your mother, that belief took root in my subconscious. I internalized it as I am my mother. I’m going to die young, too.

With all the stress, responsibility, and suppressed emotions, my body eventually said, ‘Enough.’ I broke. There doesn’t even have to be one big event—your system just collapses. The body is an alarm, and mine was screaming.

I had a massive panic attack at work. My body froze. I couldn’t speak; my tongue went numb. It felt like something was strangling me. I truly thought I was dying—having a heart attack. They rushed me to the ER, but the doctors told me it was “just a panic attack” and said I’d suffer from them for the rest of my life.

That wasn’t true, though. I haven’t had a panic attack since 2014.

So they gave you medication, and then what happened? Did life just continue as before?

Valerie Vidal: Oh, yes. That was it. They gave me medication, sent me home—and I just kept going.

Did you readjust your lifestyle after the panic attacks, or did you continue on the same path?

Valerie Vidal: At first, I continued the same way because I didn’t understand where the panic attacks came from. So I started using myself as an experiment. I needed to figure it out. My brain said, Okay, every time you have a panic attack, you’re going to record what happened just before it.

That’s what I did. And I noticed a pattern—I would have panic attacks only at work, no matter which job it was. So I thought, maybe this means I don’t like my job. Maybe my body is rejecting it. I began jumping from one job to another, trying to find something that felt right.

Eventually, I realized the panic wasn’t about the work—it was my nervous system. It was overwhelmed and in constant anticipation of danger. So I started teaching myself how to breathe, how to calm my thoughts, how to stop anticipating what wasn’t real. Slowly, I learned how to regulate myself, and I haven’t had a panic attack since 2014.

Before that turning point, you write in your chapter that you attempted to take your life. I bring this up with great sensitivity because I understand that kind of despair. What was happening in your life at the time?

Valerie Vidal: When the panic attacks began, I was completely numb. I went from doctor to doctor, trying to understand what was happening to me. There was this pain—constant, heavy, unexplainable—and it was in everything I did. They labeled it depression, anxiety, this disorder, or that one. Every doctor had a new name, a new pill.

By my early thirties, I had everything I once thought I wanted. I was making six figures, just like I’d promised myself back when I worked three jobs. I’d climbed out of poverty. I was “successful.” But none of it made the pain go away.

As you mentioned, you cried on the floor during your breakdown—I didn’t cry at all. I had been told my whole life to be a strong, empowered woman, and that meant no tears. And the pills didn’t let me cry anyway. It was a double whammy—emotionally shut down and chemically numbed.

So there I was: I had the degree, the money, the titles, the admiration. I could spend $20,000 on a weekend in Vegas if I wanted to. But inside, I was empty. I remember looking around my beautiful home and thinking, Nobody needs me. What am I even doing here?

That’s when I began planning my exit. There was no emotion in it—it was cold, logical, calculated. On my third attempt, I was in my room thinking through what to do differently. That’s when my daughter walked in. She looked at me and said, “Mom, you know I still need you, right?”

And I just froze. I asked, “You do?” I didn’t even realize I had convinced myself that nobody did. In that moment, something inside me shifted.

I made a promise to myself—and to her—that I would never, ever attempt to take my life again.

How old was she then?

Valerie Vidal: She was sixteen.

I know that feeling so well—the thought that no one would miss you, that the world would go on just fine without you.

Valerie Vidal: Exactly. That’s precisely how I felt—completely invisible, irrelevant, like I didn’t matter. But her words changed everything.

It’s so powerful when you finally give voice to those dark thoughts—because when you do, the people around you say, “What? Are you kidding me? Of course, we need you!” Our minds make up these illusions. So, 2014 was a big turning point for you. No more panic attacks since then—was there something specific you began doing that helped you heal?

Valerie Vidal: Absolutely. After everything I’d been through, I realized I needed something new to focus my energy on—something that could keep my mind engaged healthily. I had gained a lot of weight from the depression, the medication, and being told that my thyroid wasn’t functioning properly. Doctors said I’d have to take a pill for life and would just keep gaining weight.

But that didn’t sit right with me. I’ve always been someone who challenges what I’m told, so I started researching. Eventually, I came across an article about bodybuilding—how strength training helps women manage thyroid issues and even autoimmune conditions. So I decided to try it.

Within six months, I went from weighing over 200 pounds to a size zero. It wasn’t about being skinny—it was about reclaiming my body, my strength, my health. I built lean muscle, felt vibrant again, and that marked the real turning point in my physical and emotional well-being. The panic attacks stopped completely.

The depression—or what they called depression—didn’t disappear. I still felt that deep pain inside. But I had found tools, structure, and a healthier outlet for my energy. I even competed in a fitness show that year, which was such a victory for me.

At what point did mindfulness, consciousness, or spirituality begin to play a role in your life? Did any of that come from your upbringing in Puerto Rico with your grandmother, or did it emerge later?

Valerie Vidal: None of that came until I was forty-three—so, just recently, really. I grew up around religion, but didn’t absorb it. My grandmother was Catholic, and most people in Puerto Rico are. Some relatives were Seventh-day Adventists. So yes, religion was around me, but it never resonated.

I observed it all, and none of it made sense to me. People said one thing but did another, and my brain just couldn’t reconcile that. I wasn’t judging—I just thought, This isn’t for me. I was too busy trying to survive the internal chaos I was carrying. So while I saw religion, I didn’t take it in.

It wasn’t until 2023, when my grandmother passed away and I experienced two heartbreaks back-to-back, that everything shattered. I was completely broken—again questioning whether I wanted to be here. But I had made a promise to my daughter, so that wasn’t an option.

That’s when I realized: I need to heal this trauma. I kept attracting the same kind of relationships—people who didn’t see me, who only took from me. I finally admitted to myself that the common denominator was me. That realization sparked the shift.

Was there a teacher or a specific experience that catalyzed that awakening?

Valerie Vidal: It started with research, as usual. I began looking into holistic ways to heal childhood trauma. I had tried all the pills—they didn’t work. So I thought, There has to be another way.

Then I came across a quote from a psychiatrist—Dr. Briere or something similar—that said, “If we can prevent childhood neglect and abandonment, we could reduce the 800 pages of the DSM in just two generations.”

That statement lit me up. Here was a medical doctor confirming what I felt all along: trauma can be healed—and even prevented. I then dove deeper into research and discovered the field of plant medicine. I learned about the healing work being done with ayahuasca in Costa Rica and Peru, though it was still illegal in the U.S.

So I said out loud—almost skeptically—“Okay, God, if this is real, show me.” I didn’t even believe in God at the time, but I was open. And then, as if in direct response, someone handed me a flyer. It was for a shaman who lived just twenty minutes away and was leading ayahuasca ceremonies.

That’s when everything changed. I called him, made an appointment, and that’s how plant medicine entered my life.

What was that first ayahuasca experience like for you?

Valerie Vidal: The very first time, I was purging in sweat for five or six hours straight. It felt as if I was giving birth to myself—over and over again. I was drenched, completely soaked in water. It was me, the water, the mother, the baby—the entire cycle of life repeating again and again. For those hours, I was both the one giving birth and the one being born.

That’s incredible. When you say “giving birth to yourself,” what does that mean to you?

Valerie Vidal: It was literal. I saw it, I felt it. I was the woman giving birth, and at the same time, I was the baby being born. Everything was fluid and alive, like I was immersed in the water of creation itself. It kept happening in cycles—birth after birth after birth.

Did you assign meaning to the experience, or did you just allow it to unfold?

Valerie Vidal: I didn’t assign any meaning. I didn’t judge it or try to make sense of it. The shaman had told me, “The medicine will show you what you need. Don’t try to interpret it—understanding will come later.” So I listened. I simply allowed it to happen. At that time, all I knew was that I had decided to heal the trauma, whatever that would mean.

But the second ceremony—that one was truly profound.

I was shown myself as a little girl, around seven years old, watching from an observer’s perspective. I remembered that night so vividly. It was the first time I ever prayed. I was having these recurring nightmares—walking through a battlefield filled with explosions. Every step I took, something blew up around me. It happened every night.

At the foster home where I was staying, there was an older woman who was deeply Catholic—she prayed all the time. I had learned from watching her. So that night, terrified, I prayed for the first time: “God, please take these nightmares away.”

During the ceremony, I was shown that exact moment. I saw myself praying—and suddenly, I saw angels surrounding me. And a voice, or a knowing, said: “You were never alone.”

That was the day I knew, without question, that angels are real. That God is real.

It happened in October 2023—and from that day on, everything changed. That’s when faith, spirituality, and connection truly entered my life.

As a child, you carried such a deep sense of aloneness—even though there were people around who loved you. And then, just two years ago, you were shown that you’ve never been alone. How did that realization change your day-to-day life?

Valerie Vidal: It changed everything. For the first time, I knew—really knew—that God was real. That angels were real. These unseen forces have been with us all along. It wasn’t just belief; it was a knowing that went straight into my bones.

After that experience, I came across something called The Channel—a show or post about spiritual awakening—and it led me to Gaia, which I’d first heard of through plant medicine. I thought, If the plants are talking to me, maybe the Earth is trying to teach me, too. So I subscribed. It was the first membership I’d ever paid for besides Amazon Prime!

And then I started diving into everything—sacred geometry, numerology, shamanism, the language of the universe. I began learning how energy and consciousness weave together, and it all started making sense in ways words couldn’t fully capture.

Was there a particular show or teacher on Gaia that really stood out to you?

Valerie Vidal: Not just one—there were so many. They were all experts in their own ways. But what truly resonated were the teachings on sacred geometry and numerology. Those two became living languages for me, like activations. I started experiencing them through the plant medicine.

Because my brain works in patterns, it was as if I suddenly understood a new system of communication—something beyond the language of humans.

A few days after one ceremony, when the medicine was still working in my body, I was speaking with a woman who said that the gifts of God weren’t meant for everyone. And I told her, “I’m sorry, but that’s not true.”

As I spoke, I saw the Flower of Life forming above her—this intricate, luminous pattern just appearing in the air. I began to channel, though at the time I didn’t know it was the Holy Spirit. Words flowed through me about how each person’s experience with God is unique, and who are we to decide who receives divine gifts?

I had no conscious knowledge of what I was saying—it just came through. That Flower of Life hovered there, shimmering, while the message poured out. It was one of the most impactful experiences of my life.

How has your life changed over the last couple of years since discovering plant medicine?

Valerie Vidal: Completely. I’ve done twenty ceremonies, and through them, I was guided toward a new kind of healing. I learned that when you allow yourself to be one with Earth and God, your healing becomes spirit-led. Every instruction I’ve followed came not from a person but from Source itself.

After those twenty ceremonies, I didn’t need more. I was shown that my work now was to use what I’d learned—to bring the teachings and visions into form. And every single vision I’ve received since then has come true, including this very moment.

You’re shown your path, your destiny. And if you sit still enough, listen deeply enough, and honor your original design, you begin to understand how every piece of the puzzle fits.

Tell me about your participation in the Awakened Hearts anthology series. Why did you choose to contribute, and what was it like writing your chapter?

Valerie Vidal: It’s such a beautiful story. On my forty-fourth birthday, God called me. I had just learned that God was real, and then suddenly—He called. I remember thinking, Wait, what is happening? You actually do that?

The message was clear: Write your testimony. Share your healing journey. At that point, I’d been healing for about nine months, from September through the following June. As I began writing, I noticed a pattern—every nine months, something major happened in my life. It was like a gestation cycle, rebirth after rebirth.

Then, on my forty-fifth birthday, I had a dream. I saw a glowing heart and the number 528 in bright neon light. I already knew that 528 Hz is the frequency of love, so I thought, Okay, this must mean something about love.

Later, when I came across Awakened Hearts, I felt that same vibration. I knew instantly: This is it. This is the gift that keeps on giving. I decided to join, even though there were a few hoops to jump through to make it happen.

When I finally received my contributor number from you, it was 528.

I fell to the floor, sobbing. It was one of those undeniable, divine confirmations.

That’s amazing. What was it like writing your story for the book?

Valerie Vidal: It was profound. I didn’t even remember my near-death experience until I prayed and asked God what to write about. I told Him, “I don’t want just to repeat what I’ve already shared elsewhere—what do You want me to say?”

And He said, “Talk about your near-death experience. Talk about when you were with us—in the light.”

That moment brought everything full circle. I realized that the peace I felt in that light had never left me—it had been gifted to me to carry forward, for the rest of my life.

When you look back now at all the challenges you’ve faced—the twists and turns of life—and see yourself in such a different place after this deep healing with plant medicine, what do you most want people to take away from your story?

Valerie Vidal: I think the most important message is this: none of the things the world tells you about who you are or what’s possible have to be true for you.

We’re not humans having a spiritual experience—we are spiritual beings having a human experience. This planet is our playground, our school, our sacred classroom. Every challenge we face is part of the curriculum that shapes us into who we’re meant to be.

If you take time to turn inward—to focus on what God places in your heart rather than on what the world tells you—you’ll find your compass. That compass often looks like a dream, an inner knowing, a whisper that keeps calling you back.

For me, that dream had been shattered long ago. I’d wanted to be a writer, but in high school, my counselor told me, “You’ll never make money doing that—become an accountant instead.” And I believed her. I buried that dream for decades.

But through this healing journey, Source guided me back to it. And not just to write any book, but to write my testimony. The compass that once felt broken ended up guiding me right here, to this very moment.

So my message is simple: if you listen to your soul, your divinity will lead you out of darkness, into the light of what life is truly about. Every challenge holds a piece of your puzzle. Don’t discard it. Sit with it. Feel everything you need to feel. Because that’s how you reach the finish line—whole, awake, and in love with life itself.

That’s so powerful. Valerie, thank you so much for sharing your story with such honesty and depth. Where can people follow you online?

Valerie Vidal: I’ve been sharing my journey mostly on TikTok, because it allows me to post quick, raw messages the moment I receive them. Whenever I get a download—often right after a shower!—I record and post it immediately. It’s like a living diary of my spiritual growth, unfiltered and real. You’ll see me just as I am, sharing messages that I hope help others on their own path.

Valerie, thank you for choosing life, for your courage, and for the light you bring to this world.

Valerie Vidal: Thank you so much, David—and thank you for your obedience to this Awakened Hearts movement. Because that’s what it is—a movement of awakening. I can’t wait to see what unfolds next.