The Common Threads Among Feelings, Addiction, and Somatic Work

I can confidently say that those of us who have battled substance or behavioral addictions often face significant challenges with our emotions.

We live in a culture that celebrates so-called “positive” emotions like happiness, excitement, joy, and peacefulness, while stigmatizing “negative” feelings such as anger, fear, sadness, grief, and loneliness.  As a result, many children feel accepted, loved, and cared for when expressing their “positive” emotions, yet they often experience fear, loneliness, and shame when they feel or express their “negative” emotions.  As these children grow into adults, this dynamic reinforces the belief that having these “negative” feelings is not only undesirable but also something to be suppressed, hidden, fixed, or changed. Moreover, this cultural phenomenon conveys the troubling message that experiencing “negative” emotions may signal that something is wrong with us.

What does this have to do with addiction? Quite a bit!

If we’ve been conditioned to push away, deny, or suppress half of our feelings, it’s no surprise that addictive substances and behaviors can appear as appealing solutions. As humans, we are meant to experience the full spectrum of emotions. Feelings are our body’s biological response to everything happening around us or within us. When we are taught to reject half of these emotions, we inevitably seek solutions when they arise, and substances or behaviors can effectively distract from, conceal, or alter our current emotional state.

Why do some individuals succumb to addiction while others do not?

It’s not uncommon to see two siblings raised in the same household, with one struggling with addiction while the other appears unaffected. This phenomenon has given rise to various schools of thought.

Traditional substance recovery theory posits that some individuals have an allergic reaction to certain substances; once these substances enter their systems, an inexplicable craving for more ensues. Even if the substance has led to the loss of everything they hold dear, these individuals often find it impossible to resist the pull of that craving. This perspective addresses addiction primarily from a biochemical standpoint.  Once the substance has been removed, this theory advocates for right-sizing one’s ego through spiritual practices in order to maintain abstinence.

Conversely, many addiction specialists advocate for a psychological approach, suggesting that underlying unprocessed trauma contributes significantly to addictive behaviors. This theory asserts that healing the addiction requires first addressing the trauma, focusing on psychosomatic healing.

The “Big Two”

While there are numerous theories regarding addiction, I consider these the “Big Two.” Personally, I believe that addiction is not solely one or the other; rather, it represents a perfect storm. It’s likely a complex interplay of biochemical factors and unresolved trauma that cannot be easily identified through biomarkers or psychological assessments.  The data shows that right-sizing the ego through a Higher Power, Higher Self or some meaningful spiritual practice while working to heal trauma is incredibly useful in maintaining long term recovery from addiction.

It’s essential to examine the concept of “trauma.” Many people equate trauma with an horrific event that has befallen someone, but it’s important to recognize that trauma is fundamentally an emotional response to an event. What may trigger a trauma response in one person—a devastating incident they endured—might be quite different for another. For instance, someone could experience trauma from feeling marginalized, ostracized, or shamed for having differing interests or beliefs from their family.

Big-T or Little-T

As human beings, we often have a tendency to categorize trauma into “Big-T” (significant trauma) and “Little-T” (lesser trauma). However, if trauma is indeed a response to an event that hasn’t been processed, labeling it as “big” or “small” becomes meaningless, especially if it has left emotional scars that affect our well-being.

The crucial point is to validate and normalize our feelings and responses to both external and internal experiences, allowing us a genuine opportunity to heal. If trauma is simply a response, does it truly make sense to categorize it at all?

Another noteworthy aspect to consider is how our culture defines the term “addiction.” Many people associate addiction solely with substance abuse, gambling, sex, food, work, and, more recently, shopping, digital devices, body image, cosmetic surgery, and even exercise. However, behavioral addictions, such as the hyper-focus on controlling people, places, and things, often go overlooked. This is frequently categorized as co-dependency, which can be quite complex.

When examining the case of the siblings mentioned earlier, one may exhibit clear signs of substance abuse, while the other might struggle with severe co-dependency, fixating on controlling, fixing, and managing those around them. In this scenario, both siblings are grappling with addiction. Society tends to view one type of addiction as more acceptable than the other, often failing to recognize co-dependency as a serious and harmful addiction for both the co-dependent individual and those in their orbit.

As illustrated above, addictions and compulsions can serve as a means to cope with the discomfort associated with feelings that we may have been conditioned to view as unacceptable. This issue runs deep, as we often remain unaware of the emotions we experience, along with the tendency to suppress them, after being caught in this cycle for so long. However, the problem with this “solution” is that it can morph into an addiction for some, leading to an even greater challenge.

How does somatic work fit into all of this?

The term somatic refers to anything related to the body. Given that feelings are biological responses to events occurring around or within us, it stands to reason that these feelings reside in the body. Moreover, if trauma is an emotional reaction to an event, it follows that the trauma response is also stored in our physical being.

Somatic therapies can assist us in two significant ways. First, they help us reconnect with our emotions by fostering a connection to our bodies. Somatic coaches and therapists often guide individuals in identifying bodily sensations. Over time, we may learn to associate specific emotions with certain sensations, allowing us to fully experience, acknowledge, and eventually embrace them. As we cultivate this ability, we gradually shift from instinctively avoiding our feelings to accepting them. This transformation reduces our urge to suppress or “fix” these emotions.

Furthermore, experienced trauma-informed somatic practitioners can support clients in processing trauma-related responses that have become trapped in the body.  Over time, the idea is to allow the trauma response to come up and out so the individual isn’t continuing to respond from that same, old trauma response.

Recovering from addictions and learning to embrace the full spectrum of emotions after years of suppressing them—whether consciously or subconsciously—is no easy feat. It requires time, commitment, and patience, and it’s important to remember that you don’t have to heal everything at once. Taking baby steps with a supportive and trustworthy team is the best way to embark on your healing journey, allowing you to connect with your body and process trauma and grief effectively.

TAKE ACTION: If you’re looking for support as you navigate your emotions and relationships, let’s set up a time to connect.