Your New Identity, The Void, and the Brutal Silence

Have you lost your job? Are you going through a separation or divorce? Do you feel out of place wherever you go? Do you walk into your job like a zombie and stare at the clock to leave as soon as possible? Nothing sits right. Nothing feels right. You get annoyed or irritated fairly quickly, and you run straight home for the snacks and jammies. Maybe you doomscroll just to escape the obvious. Maybe you would rather sleep. Maybe binge-watch something to hopefully fall asleep. 

Let me ask you this…have you asked the universe for more? Something different? Something like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, where she sings, “I want much more than this provincial life!” or “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere!” Well, ask, and you shall receive! This is what happens when you want to shift identities and experience something new. It’s not your fault. By nature, although we are creatures of habit, at some point, we get tired of the habits and want something new and exciting. Is life really just going to work, live paycheck to paycheck, come home wrecked after a long commute or many hours at work, just to eat and get an hour to decompress, just to do this all over again? And if you have children, time is even more limited. We decided to sacrifice the things that make us happy so we can have a little more time for ourselves. That is NOT how we should be, and that’s how the world is changing and will no longer tolerate that hustle and bustle lifestyle. 

If you are awakening, and if you’re reading this, you are, you know, inside that way of living; it’s coming to a close. But now what? What to do? Where to go? You feel… alone. There’s a saying that says, “Be careful what you wish for,” and yes. That is absolutely true. Especially if the ask is pretty big. 

Let’s circle back up to the beginning. Something BIG has happened in your life. Whether it’s been just recently or even two years ago, think back and recollect what exactly you asked for or desired. Was it a quick, “I just need a job that pays $30k more?” or is it, “I want financial freedom, where I can travel wherever, live comfortably, and don’t have to kill myself working?” Or did you get even more detailed than that and lay out all of your desires (which is the recommendation)? The bigger the ask, the more “time” the universe works in the background, rearranging itself; however, there’s a HUGE task to do here. And this is where most people fail and go back to their old ways, their old life, and ultimately, back to being unhappy.

When the order is placed, it’s not on your doorstep within two shipping days. Oh no, it can be quick, or it can take a while. Again, depends on what has been desired and where you are at the moment. See, the universe can only give you what you currently are. If you want to be a millionaire, it’s going to make sure that you are prepared to not only receive but also to maintain, sustain, and scale. If not, it will just be another case of instant gratification, and then you lose it. Why? Because the relationship with money wasn’t established. Like attracts like. Our relationship with money reflects our relationship with worth, safety, and identity. 

In this human realm, we are co-creators. The universe will meet us halfway. When you hit rock bottom, or close to it, and you pray and pray for things to change, the universe says, “OK. I hear you. But how are we going to meet up? I want to help and give you all that you desire, but there is so much resistance that I can’t possibly reach you, no matter how hard I try.” 

Our job is to constantly rewire our brains by constantly feeding ourselves positive affirmations, changing the “I can’t” or “I’ll try” to “I can and I will”.  Think of Master Yoda when he asked Luke Skywalker to lift the fighter jet. Luke said, “I can’t.” Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.” The universe is looking at how serious we are in ultimately reaching our desires. Every little action that we take tells the universe, “your turn”. Sounds very easy, but it’s hard to implement. We tell ourselves, “I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll do it later. Whatever…I’m tired.”  The more of that, the longer it takes. And during this process, we enter….The Void (insert dramatic music). 

The void is lonely. The void is dark. The void pushes our patience threshold to the maximum. In the void, the ego is at its most brutal, and even more so when on the verge of a breakthrough. Our only job, to meet the universe halfway, is to continue to feed our minds with new thoughts that align with the identity we are moving towards and to trust in the silence. When nothing in front of you looks like it’s going your way. When you go from being happy one instant to crying the next, for no reason. When things get worse, and honestly, you didn’t think things could get worse. When your last sense of stability has been stripped away. You are alone with your thoughts. You question whether this is all worth it. You become your only cheerleader. And somehow, despite everything, you keep going. Surrender to the best of your ability. Living one day at a time or one moment at a time. 

The hardest part of the transformation isn’t the awakening. It isn’t the breakthrough. It’s the silence that comes with it – when nothing seems to move, prayers feel unanswered, and you begin questioning whether any of it is real. 

The void exists because the identity that created your old life cannot sustain the new one. Somewhere between who you were and who you are becoming, the ego panics because it no longer recognizes itself. The void strips:

• False certainty
• Ego dependency
• External validation
• Control mechanisms
• Urgency addiction
• Trauma responses
• Identity attachments

The architecture is dissolving. We, as humans, are conditioned for instant gratification, not delayed. We look for progress, and we all create our own set of metrics to track progress. We seek proof, movement, outcomes, and reassurance.

What we actually get is:

• Emotional exhaustion
• Crying without explanation
• Questioning Spirituality
• Wanting to “go back to normal”
• Feeling disconnected
• Losing passion temporarily
• Fatigue
• Isolation
• Watching everyone else “move ahead”
• Not knowing what to do next
• Not having a purpose

“The strongest trees are rooted in the darkest places of the earth.” – C JoyBell C.

In this darkness, however, there is light, and I invite you to notice the light. During this time of silent transformation, and as you are doing the work to fully embody this new identity (which is not an easy task), you stop being:

• The achiever (because it will be a state of flow)
• The rescuer (you focus on yourself first – can’t save everyone)
• The wounded one (you realize that you must take accountability for your decisions)
• The overworker (burnout is not the jam)
• The performer (you are your authentic self and start to give zero F’s)
• The people-please (no thank you, next)
• The controller (too much OCD and stress involved)

And you become “no one”, or like how Dr. Joe Dispenza describes, “no body, no one, no thing, nowhere, in no time”. You just… are. This drives the ego into the ultimate temper tantrum. But when you remember this and embody it, it creates the freedom you’ve been searching for. 

The void is not empty. It is full of unseen construction. And one day, you will look back and realize the silence was not abandonment, it was preparation. Will you keep moving forward or give up?  Transformation asks each of us the same question: Will we keep moving forward, even when nothing appears to be happening?

I will leave you with some inspirational quotes to keep you going. Remember, you are not alone. There are many of us going through this at the moment, probably more so than ever due to our collective conscious awakening. Take time to breathe, and just handle it the best that you can, and practice correcting your mindset – limiting beliefs. Only you can do that, no one else. I wish you full success in this journey, because I know you can, and I know you will. ️

There is no coming to consciousness without pain – Carl Jung

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order – Carl Jung

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek – Joseph Campbell

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know – Pema Chodron

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest – Pema Chodron

TAKE ACTION: If you’re moving through a season of uncertainty, remember that the void is often where the deepest transformation begins. Neyda Honda encourages you to trust the process, keep taking small aligned steps, and reconnect with your inner strength. Explore more of her work and teachings to support your journey of awakening and personal transformation.